The hope for something different.

I thought you were different

From the beginning

I saw you in a different light

Maybe that was hope 

or

the dream of what I thought you were

I needed a fantasy

someone to fill the void

You did

I thought you were perfect

Respectful

You completed my list

All from 

Looks

God

Health

All about You

I would smile

and

Not stop

Even seeing your name somewhere

or 

hearing riding solo

or Marie Digby

Made me dream and fantasize when you would want me back

I would go to sleep and you would be there in my dreams to welcome me

with a tender kiss

Now I'm unsure

You have changed

You had the look of so many before

The hunger for physical

You don't care

And I need to awaken from this dream

I'm in

I need to let go of the fantasy of You and I

Your gone

I'm tempted

Two bad things

I have changed

You were in my plan

But I have moments for change

Space for new

I will say Good-bye

And try to actually mean it

But now I ask myself

Even without you there in my life

There will always be temptation

I throw myself at every guy that will look longingly in my direction

The small times I am ever turned away

I love it

I chase

It's a game for me

You're my butterfly

that I'm just trying to catch

A kiss would tell all

I say Good-bye

I'm too weak

So here I go

diving back in

Let's hope

I pray

for strength

To do what is right

To help the light shine through the path

I want you

more then anything

If you would even want me half of what I do you

I would be happy, content

But I see the way you look at me

The thirst is not for me

For what my body is

For what every girl's body is

here I am just going to sit here waiting

waiting until I'm thrown away like garbage like all the rest

You are all the rest

Just admit it

You were one in a million 

and now you are just of them

I don't know why I even tried

why I cared so much about you

After my love

it was you

That day

That moment

I felt it was a sign

My new relationship with God

with my body

I felt you were a gift

I respected you and I thought you did me

I would jump and run for you

but now all I am is hanging on the rope

You have full control

Now I just lie here waiting for you to cut it

For me to fall

You won't give a second glance

I'm already trash to you

I'm done to you

as you could never be to me...