Remembrance is Bliss

Remembering Childhood. Should be Bliss.

Filled with Laughter and "Oh I remember..."

 

When I was. 6 or maybe 7? Age not mattering.

Carefree. Having Fun. Rolling. Flying.

Bleeding. Crying.

Stranger. Coarse Hands. Not mine. Not them.

"Honey, I got you. It's all gonna be better. Soon."

Reassuring. Too Bad... It's not the Right one. Not the Right Person.

Water. Touching. Soap. Cleansing.

"She is Fine. Toughen Up Anna"

In my mind. These Words were Instilled.

"Stop Crying. Stop being a Baby."

 

Beginning Back then... Holding Forever.

Rivers. Searching. Trying to Find an Ocean. An Outlet. To Let Go.

Dams being Built. Blocking The Way... Out.

 

Another Time. Another Joyous Memory.

When I was 8 or 9? Age again not mattering.

My Foot Broken. My Toes Burning.

Pain. My Body has become intuned to it. It is Natural. Just another sense Now.

Never Subtracting. Always Adding.

"Toughen Up Anna"

Same Line. Same Pain.

 

A thousand. No A Million.

Cocoons. Not able to.

Metamorphis Stopped.

No Butterflies.

No Wings.

No Freedom.

 

Third Times A Charm.

Maybe Getting Hurt. Getting Bruises. Having Pain.

On Purpose? Drawing Attention... Screaming. Calling Out.

 

To show care.

To hold Me in a hug.

Arms wrapping around. Keeping me safe.

For once Not being...

A tree. Hard. Stiff.

Loosen Up.

 

Once Again here we go.

Same Line.

"She's fine. Toughen Up Anna."

 

Try asking me.

Try looking into my eyes.

Try just Try.

Take a Minute.

Take a Second.

A real hug.

A real Emotion.

 

I guess...

People can't change.

or maybe

People Just don't want to.

Well I'm done waiting.

Sorry. But we are No More.

I gave you so many. Chances.

Never Once Taken.

Always There. Just There.