An old letter to you

I’m writing this letter to you, because I often find words are often misunderstood or hard to say. Through a letter it can be more understood and easier to say my thoughts. I believe when I met you, I was searching for someone but not truly knowing it. In a way I was broken or if that doesn’t sound right I was hurt. I realized I look for people to fill that emptiness, and they are usually through guys. After reading what you have sent me a couple times about seeking for people where you lack, it began to set in. As I know I am repeating myself in some area, I ask you to bear with me. To what you had sent me, I agree with it mostly, but in a sense I also believe that you find people that may have what you lack because then you complete each other. In meeting people you learn. You have experiences with them that can change your views to either better or worsen them. A quality of mine is I over analyze and think most everything, so when it comes to looking back into my past I simply had refused for awhile to even realize what I had done, and pain I caused for those around me. In meeting God for what I believe is the first time, He helped me realize that I make mistakes, but that there are always second chances. Every Sunday when I sit in God’s house I hear for the first time in my life, what I never quite understood. God is not someone who punishes and is sitting around judging us. He is our father, and is watching over us, and unconditionally loving us. This was the hardest thing for me to accept. I have always associated love with physical being, with a touch. This in so many ways I was wrong. As I wish I could say I am completely over that, and believe love is more then that, I don’t want to lie to you. I still have those images of the prince wrapping me in his arms and kissing me, and me having ultimate feelings of love and completeness. I have grown in more of ways to know that a relationship, a healthy one, is nurtured by more then that. In that sense I was set on finding someone to teach me, but now I have begun to realize that this something that I cannot be fully taught by someone else, but something I must learn through self-realization. Once I feel complete and fully loved alone, by myself, is when I can truly enter a healthy relationship with another being. 
As I am still unsure of why I am writing to you, and why you have caught my daily thoughts, and become an interest to me, I’m curious to find out. I don’t believe there are ever mistakes for meeting people in life. You are a truly extraordinary person. And I’m fortunate to have found someone who I can share my thoughts and feelings with. To you as you are my new journal. You may not want to take this on, and I would not question on why, but I am truly blessed that I met you.

Enough said for now.