Howling To A Wolf Moon

...sometimes this is all you get...

Howling To A Wolf Moon

 

 

Early this morning,

the sun still hidden

by its Eastern arc,

I sat on the back porch

thinking about what I would do today.

Fill the bird feeder,

till the garden,

feel the coolness of the earth

beneath my feet.

 

There is something mystical,

magickal,

as my fingers wander

in the loose soil.

It’s like I am connected

with a larger world;

feel like I am growing roots

that spread outward,

deeper into the wonders of life.

As I work, I am reminded of Grandmother’s

wisdom;

the way she gave thanks

each day at dawn,

asking for balance and beauty

in all things;

how she burnt sage to cleanse our home,

and offered a pinch

to the morning sun;

and how disappointed she became

when she saw the horrors

the People were facing.

 

My moccasins are weary and worn,

though only recently found. Yet,

I feel the wind’s call,

as it knows my name;

that the sky brushes

red sunsets

and pastel dawns

to hasten my heart beat;

that the earth,

dusty and dry with age,

still reaches for my feet.

Grandmother taught me

no matter how far I roam,

I will always find my way home.

 

I know these words are true,

both hers

and the ones I write with sand,

but there is still a hollowness,

a hole in my heart,

as I thought you might

journey home with me

to meet my Clan,

and that you would ask me

to meet yours.

For as long as I can remember,

I have dreamed you.

Dreamed I met you by the oceans edge,

gave you my sword,

and offered you my heart.

 

I awoke this morning,

the sky calm and blue,

the sun just emerging

from the Eastern horizon,

but for the first time,

there were no Crows

to greet me.

And while the breeze

was Spring chilled,

it no longer spoke your name.

I knew you were gone,

journeying in search of your home.

 

As I sat on the ocean’s edge,

thinking of the time spent,

singing those ancient runes,

weaving tales of forest adventures,

swimming crystal clear lakes,

and lying beneath the Willow

imagining fierce dragons

in the night’s sky;

feeling the warmth of your skin

next to mine,

and tasting your strawberry kiss;

I know I will always love you.

 

Once again, the night has returned

to a full moon,

and I, a lone wolf,

howling to its beams

hoping

you might yet reach out to me.

 

This morning Grandmother

spoke to me gently as a Spring breeze:

“Aztec, each person

must find the place

where they belong,

feel whole and at ease

in their heart;

the place they can call Home.

It is only then,

they can invite someone in,

share their laughter and love,

enjoy the balance and beauty in life.

When she finds her place,

perhaps, she will call to you,

ask you to join her and

meet her Clan.

For now, enjoy the time

she has already given,

the scent of her soft skin,

the way she smiled once

telling stories of her Nature walks,

and shedding her tears at love’s she lost.

She has already given you so much,

my son.”

 

Grandmother, I know these words to be true,

and I have taken them into my heart,

yet I still have a hole that

only she can fill.

I miss her light and tenderness,

the way the world is brighter

when she is near.

Grandmother, I know what you say is wise,

please, allow me a bit longer

to howl at this moon,

for I do know my way home.

 

Aztec Warrior/redzone 5.5.18

Author's Note

….thanks for reading

Reviews

[barleygirl]

This month we’ve had high ocean fog more than usual, doesn’t burn off until noon. The dreary mornings have caused me to think about my best friend quite a bit . . . he died 4 years ago this month. I’ve been wanting to write something about that (but as you may have noticed, I’ve been on a non-serious binge of silly writing lately). Reading your poem conjures up all the deep-seated Native imagery that helps plant some heartfelt seeds for me to find the right message soon. Puts me in the perfect mood to find this message that’s crying to be released. I love the way you make your poem into a fairly long & involved storyline, something I can rarely pull off, but I like the way it lets us be with you & your thoughts & your feelings for a little bit longer . . . a little bit longer. I’m absorbing your essence so I can try to put it together with my own. Thanks for the inspiration (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[andrew mitchell]

a lovely write where one is one with nature at its best.

[redzone]

thank you Andrew....

[Kelly Scheppers]

Grandmothers are the foundation of a family. They are the roots that keep us grounded, and the love that brings us home. You've penned this beautifully, Curt...welcome back, my friend!

[redzone]

good to be back Kelly.... this particular Grandmother is several hundred years old, lived in what is now Manhattan and was native American... I discovered her a while back and as one poet friend said to me, she is teaching me how to be a human being, one of the People...
and she is helping me to understand how to love someone unconditionally means to accept that they must find their own path and Home.... it is often hard to do this...

[Lydia Shutter]

"no matter how far I roam, I will always find my way home" Indeed. We all know where we belong and though we may wander off the path that leads home at times, we do find it again....because it just feels right. There is longing between the lines...longing for something I can not put my finger on. There is love of ancestors, nature, and the past. Then, you romantic, you, longing for that special someone. It's always a pleasure to read your "nice" words, Curt....it's like a visit from a friend. Lydi**

[redzone]

thanks Lydi, your comment just gave me a huge smile... and my wonderful friend, your visits do this a lot...

[Giulia King]

WOW! The second verse where the words turn to red is my favorite! I connected so hard on those lines. Beautifully written!

[redzone]

Giulia, first thank you for visiting and liking this poem... But I must confess, I didn't make those line red, they turned red when I edited them after pasting the poem here... I am not sure why it turned red.... but I am happy these lines connected with you, it is magical to "play in the dirt' as I like to say about gardening... lol...

[jacob erin-cilberto]

there is definitely balance and beauty in all things you write, Curt...

wisdom of your Grandmother that you take to Mother Earth...and appreciate both of them.

[redzone]

Jacob, thanks for your soft words, glad you liked...

[Patricia Wedel]

dear Curt... my grandma loved to
fish and give advice that she learned from spirits of the wind. We are part of earth and guided by the stars. The moon knows our heart when we have lost someon so dear. Your poetry has brought a tear that nourishes the earth. truly, Pat

[redzone]

thank you Pat, your words are also heard and appreciated...

[Sami Khalil]

A majestic poem indeed with much truth to offer and much tenderness to share. I love the imagery, grandma's advises, nature walks, the beauty in life. Every stanza can be a poem on its own. Glad to see you back writing with much vigor.

[redzone]

thanks Sami, in some ways this is several poems, a more stream of consciousness write that seemed to flow together as I continued to write... thanks for the visit and the wonderful words Sami

[Sami Khalil]

Wow! You are most welcome.