Crazy Canucks

.....lighten up, its tongue in cheek fun...

Crazy Canucks

Those crazy Canadians are everywhere

these days. Sitting in trees,

on turnip trucks,

fishing some wilderness stream,

or sliding across the ice 

a stick and puck in their hand.

Now I wouldn't call them

country bumpkins since

some are found

occasionally writing

what is very generously

called poetry... EH!

They got this Aurora 

thing going on

and snow, lots of it.

Plus, I can’t forget the cold

which entices all the women

to dress in flowery long johns

with back door hatches

so they don’t have to get all undone

when visiting the loo. 

Of course Canadian men 

think this is very much fun

and they all call themselves

“back door men”...  EH!

For these worldly Canucks

everything costs a loonie

including a Horton bakery

coffee maker

that often hears a who - The Guess Who.

Canucks got the musicians,

I’ll give em that,

but I want my Nickelback.

Not to mention Blue Rodeo

who happen to be

The Tragically Hip

and sat next to Moressette

while Joni sang a Cohen tune.

And while Loverboy had

a Crash Test Dummies fling,

kd lang lit up the Cowboy Junkies

with some country funky.

But the ones the Canucks 

truly love- 

Barenaked Ladies

wearing their hatch back 

girlie snowflake undies

singing about flowers and stars.

EH!

So,

to all my Canadian friends,

I know you are all good hearted

hockey pucks

and that’s why you are

crazy Canadians,

my “Cannut” Canucks!!  EH!

Aztec Warrior / redzone  7.4.16

(Note: Just some tongue in cheek teasing of my Canadian friends here at WC. You know who you are, but let me give a shout out to KL, Ana, Pryde, S. Mi, Jon Roggie- not sure are you Canadian too, and anyone I may have missed, let me know.  

In writing this little funny, I discovered that the name “Canuck” is actually an American invention. I didn’t know this. I have used it here in a friendly manner, but if this term is offensive/derogatory please tell me and I will remove promptly.)  

Author's Note

.... thanks for reading, but I am heading for the hills... ;0) had to come back and add this song "Blame Canada" from Southpark TV show.... thank you Papaya and I was going to add a few lines about how the Canucks killed Kenny (a Southppark character) but left it out, so this song will make up for this...

Reviews

[Pryde Foltz]

It is hockey sticks and beaver tails at dawn for you. LOL. You forgot Sarah McLachlan and William Shatner, who by the way will be meeting you at dawn:) And Jon lives in California, I believe:)

[redzone]

thanks Pryde, KL told me Jon was American... and yeah there were quite a few I didn't add... I lve Sarah McLachlan's music btw....

if you please, why would beaver tails and Shatner be meeting me at dawn??... lol

[Pryde Foltz]

To Extract restitution:):):)

[barleygirl]

You've brilliantly included a TON of Canadian trivia here . . . most of it recognizable, even to those of us who are generally clueless about culture differences. I admire your back-door references in different forms (imaginative & fun). I'm not surprised, but very impressed by all the musical references & how you weave them together into meaningful lines that don't sound like you're naming names. All in all, a fun tribute to our neighbors up north . . . & yeah, it does seem like there's a Canadian every time we turn around, huh? *smile*

[redzone]

yeah Margie they are everywhere... Canadians, Canadians, Canadian!!! ;0)

I am happy you enjoyed this fun, tongue in cheek poem, sometimes I just can't resist a tease... thank you Margie for coming by and adding your dime to the pot..

[Lydia Shutter]

The Canucks killed Kenny? The b******s! LOL What a delightful romp this one is. Hey, ice hockey is big even in South Florida, but we need to play it indoors! Those flowery long johns could get in the way of hot winter nights if you ask me. This is so clever, Curt....and I know all our Canadian poets will be tickled by it. Lydi**

[redzone]

yep Lydi, they killed Kenny... B******s... I think we should take the characters on Southpark's advice and invade Canada.. lol...

thanks Lydi for stopping by... and I agree LJs even with flaps are a big bother... hehehe

[Lyn Anderson]

Damn I so offended NOT. And Roggie is American, but he seems to know a lot more Canadian than most. I love all the music ypu referenced. Now just add Three Days Grace, My Darkest Days, Serena Ryder, Gordon Lightfoot, Rush, Bryan Adams, Corey Hart, Trooper, Buffy Sainte Marie, etc., etc., to your list. And don't get me started on inventors, philanthropists, and actors. We'll be here for days and days...

[redzone]

hahaha I know, days.. which is why I didn't add all the musicians listed... but of course you are more than welcome to add as many artists, etc you may want... thanks KL for being "offended NOT"!!! lol

[Papaya]

I'll pick up where you left of K.
Dallas Green, Stompin Tom, Sam Roberts, Metric, Billy Talent, Avril, Sum 41, Great Big Sea, Sloan, Wintersleep, Triumph, Our Lady Peace, Bedouin Sound Clash, K'naan. I can go on and on and on and on!

[redzone]

I am going to make a list of these and listen to their music... some on your list I do not know... thanks Kl and Papaya...

[Papaya]

I am always happy to share my opinion and recommendations when it comes to music. :)

[redzone]

thanks and point well taken...

[Lyn Anderson]

Oh, dude, and South Park rocks. We are allowed to like it because there are so many Canadians involved with it!

[redzone]

the thank you was for the recommendations, the point well taken was the sharing of your views.. on music.. ;0)

[redzone]

in Ana's comment

[Papaya]

Lol. I loved it. Very funny. :)

Yes, we have lots of loonies and life revolves around hockey.
I can lay a body check like it's no man's business.

We're built tough. Eh.

So many great musical references too.

Tragically Hip are one of my absolute faves.

Most of my favourite bands/singers are Canadian.

[redzone]

so, I leave it to you then to tell me which song, or singer I should use as the music for this poem...

body checks eh! maybe it is a good thing I am way far away... lol... especially since I often say too much in my comments on your poems... ouch, those boards hurt!!! wait, no keep the gloves ON Papaya.... ;0)

[Papaya]

Yeah, body checks. But in ladies hockey we always turn around and say "Omg, i'm so sorry. Are you ok??". My brothers get a kick out of it.

Song choice is a lot of pressure Red.
Poets by the Hip or the hockey song by stompin Tom?
Or that Southpark song, blame Canada always makes me laugh.

[redzone]

it is funny you mentioned Southpark cause I was going to use a reference in the poem, something about the Canucks killed Kenny... I will listen to all this...

my shoulder hurts, I have a concusion but I am glad for your concern after slamming me into the boards... ;0p

[Papaya]

yeah, of course. I always show concern.
'Cause I'm nice like that.

[redzone]

agree... ;0)

[Papaya]

good song choice :P