FAP #4: Random Thoughts

....KL does this much better, but today was just one thought on top of another...

FAP #4:   Random Thoughts

1.

I have heard it said,

“if you think about someone too much,

you will think too much of them.”

Is this true?

Must be

cause it seems that my thoughts

of you, jade and jasmine filled,

have just begun

when a new day’s sun

rises and I must begin again.

It must be true

since heart beats its melody

only when my thoughts

turn to you.

***

2.

As I awoke today,

3 am, way too early.

You lie there,

curled defensively,

head gently and warmly

caress’d by your pillow.

I spell out the words

scarred on your skin,

as trembling fingers read-

“un-worthy”

then “s**t” and “sinful”.

Why would anyone

make you think this?

You begin to stir

at my touch,

move closer 

and into the only comfort

I could offer;

into the warmth

of these inadequate arms.

And I thought,

I will be here with you

always.

***

3.

It’s been too long-

your absence-

and I wonder how you are.

Do you still splash colors on the page

with word’s brush?

Does your palette still hold the rage

against those demons

that fester in your heart

but occasionally you find

those moments of moon beam adventures,

eyes wide with metaphoric symphonies

lying in a field of wild flowers

and dreaming of cello interludes.

Will you still be my sweet Dulcinea

as your arrow has pierced my Quixote heart

leaving me under your spell;

leaving me to ask 

“How The Hell Are You?”

***

4.

Random thoughts don’t always come

from a confused mind.

Sometimes they flow from

conscious thoughts,

jumbled maybe,

often incoherent,

yet sane and rational

in need of a sentence

to make sense.

That may sound like jail time

that I would be willing to accept

since I believe 

it would allow me to be closer to you.

Only a few things are clear;

I really, really, REALLY

miss you.

Repeat!

Repeat!

~~redzone 12.3.14  

Author's Note

thanks for reading.... maybe she will see this series sometime..
captcha" hoistway

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

The depth of emotion in this poem is overwhelming, Curt. Random thoughts perhaps, but all lead down the road of romantic longing. You miss everything about her and it is expressed so beautifully as only you can do. "metaphoric symphonies" yes, you play them for us when you write like this. I find myself wanting more when your poems end....I must repeat, repeat! :) Very "nice". Lydi**

[redzone]

wasn't it you who told me that Joisey girls would break my heart... ;0) why did she go and ask me to marry her??? she also said later that if she married me she would have to kill me so here I am with "random thoughts"... I am glad you liked my randomness Lydi.. Hope you are good

[Lydia Shutter]

Oh yea, Joisey goils will break your heart, stomp on it, and feed it to the wolves....told ya so! LOL not sure of whom you are speaking, but I am sorry you are experiencing this.

[redzone]

my comment was tongue in cheek, she hasn't done anything to me... though if she ever sees these poems she might... lol!!

[jacob erin-cilberto]

i was with someone this scarred...and it was really tough to gain her trust....i have it now, but that is long after the relationship was over.

strong writing, strong feelings portrayed----

[redzone]

it's often a love/hate, or perhaps a hate/love thing Jacob, even though we did not do the damage. My ex-wife was abused and raped and had a deep hatred of men and she often would get angry with me... in many ways I know what you say, we are better friends now than when we were married... to be honest, here with this poem, FAP has her demons, yes, but not as I may have portrayed them here. This is fiction, but it is true that my feelings for her are very real... and I really do miss her.. Thanks Jacob for your review and while it may hurt, it's nice to know that she came to trusts you...