Un -.....-ed

.. am I living just to breathe???...

Un- .......-ed

There is a space

inside my heart

that cries out

for something to believe;

for a reason to be whole;

for an excuse to love

and live un-fettered,

un-broken

and with a spark of hope.

****

After all these years,

through shadows of fear,

tangled weeds

growing ever thicker,

there remains some light

and white daisies

peeking out from garbage strewn

ghetto cracks.

****

Yes, my heart

is mostly

putrid filled

blood and crack vial needles

of joyless apathy and

shallow pleasures of bleakness.

And yet,

there is a mystery of wild daisies

still hiding in one corner.

****

I came here looking

for clear water to nourish these daisies.

Desiring the kinship of friends;

seeking water’s sunshine and

belief

someone

something,

hell anything

that would convince me

life was, or could be

worthwhile;

that these daisies could survive.

But

I was wrong.

****

There is nothing here

that I can’t find

simply by

walking outside my door -

the desolation of

trash and garbage strewn,

life crushing,

everyday life.

****

As I open the door,

even the warm sun,

blue skies -

MOCK this existence .

~~redzone 9.20.14

Author's Note

...thanks for reading

Reviews

[AprilRN1210]

wow..... I have read this one three times and it still hits me just as hard each time... I can relate to this darkened, deep piece... The emotion, the imagery, the phrasing all are so powerful and exquisite in a bittersweet way... This is one of the best pieces I have read in a while, honestly.. and never heard that song before, but it is nice and perfectly fitting.. :)

[redzone]

You honor me with your review April, thank you. I think many of us have these dark places and thoughts, feel like we face things all alone. I'm glad this poem touched you and hope that your life is not dark.

[AprilRN1210]

you're more than welcome.. It was my pleasure.. and we all have darkness, some more than others.. while I sparkle from time to time, I do reside in the shadows..

[kublakhan27]

Boy do I relate to this one, I'm sure that's a shocker haha ;P The first thing to catch my eye (and mind) was an 'excuse' to love, as if one's cynicism can only be controlled at best and not conquered, and virtually all that followed only served to reinforce that mindset...as much as I hate to say it, this site has a nasty habit of awakening these sentiments in me...again, probably a shocker...I don't wanna dwell on it too much here but I'll just say that this is not the same place it was when I first joined a couple of years ago...

And yet,
there is a mystery of wild daisies
still hiding in one corner...the corner where you and my few remaining other friends reside...not so much a mystery in the sense that I know where to find you, but a mystery regarding where so many of the ones that may have been my friends sauntered off too...I could go on for a while on this topic, but I think I've covered just about everything to this point in various talks with you...so yes, this one definitely spoke to me...there are still some daisies hanging around though my friend, both here and outside your door...there is more to life than just breathing...even my gloomy psyche retains that belief ;) If there weren't, we wouldn't be writing and reading each other's work...this group of friends that we have will pool together enough optimism to make this existence thing work :)

[redzone]

I think I will gather your reviews Steve and organize them into a poetic piece and entitle it "Steve's Life Story Reviews". They are certainly better than my poetry.

No, I'm not surprised you could relate to this poem. I am glad though that you did. I agree, with you about writing, those daisies could stand as metaphor for writing.... as well as hope. Thanks my friend for your words.

[Angad Waraich]

Beautiful!
Thats all i can say.
Loved it.
Thank you for sharing

[Pryde Foltz]

After all these years,

through shadows of fear,

tangled weeds

growing ever thicker,

there remains some light

and white daisies

peeking out from garbage strewn

ghetto cracks.

The poem itself Is marvellously crafted and the word choice at times sublime and at times hard-hitting but always effective. To its content ... in all my life I have never found another soul nor group of souls that could give my life lasting meaning. Parenthood is close but even with than I only ever get back what I put in. The meaning is there ... as the cliché goes ... it lies within ... find it and then the world becomes a brightly-lit mirror.

[redzone]

Thanks Pryde for your insights and for your review.
Truth is I have found such people and a group that gives me something to believe and fight for. But I also get frustrated at times at the pace and the the enormous horrors that must be over come and how way too many have either blinders on or who look no further than the end of their noses for answers and solutions to these horrors. As for your experiences, yes, there is an element of looking within, but the changes within are really only possible if you act to change the "without" around us. it's a dialectical process and both are needed, but the activity the visual expression is what more lays the basis for the internal and necessary changes that each indiviual comes to if we are really going to do more than jusat feel good, and also change everything.. My kids and now grand kids have always given me great joy (and some heartaches) but the world still burns... this is why I chose the Bravery song, they are singing about it not just about us, but everyone and "what are we waiting for"????
anyway, sorry, kinda went on there. I appreciate your comments and your poetry Pryde.

[Pryde Foltz]

No problem ... I appreciate and share your goal to leave a better world for those who come after.

[Lydia Shutter]

and yet....those daisies do exist and I choose to see them making wishes as I pluck off the petals. Not sure about this write, Curt....are you talking about the world as a whole or about the microcosm of WC? Yes, the sun shines and the sky is blue even in the inner city. The gunshots ring out and echo even as the birds sing and butterflies flit. The world is full of paradoxes and ironies....but it is our world. We are not going to find Utopia. At least not in our lifetimes. Still, life IS worthwhile. I have to believe that. Dark poetry with incredible imagery. Powerful stuff...and always nice! Lydi**

[redzone]

Hi Lydi, the world as a whole, not about WC, though I guess with some of the atrocious activity against women here you could say yes at WC too... but even though I do have hope for a better future and world, sometimes I do get frustrated at the pace of change and also that so many do not even wish on those daisy petals, they have settled in or look only so far as the end of their noses. anyway, I always enjoy your reviews and comment Lydi, they give me insight and hope... thanks

[Lydia Shutter]

my pleasure, my friend!

[Lyn Anderson]

Okay, for me, this reminded me of Stephen King's The Dark Tower series-- the reference to the flowers, the futility of the journey, well done.

[redzone]

Exactly... by the way, I really think Stephen King is one of the best writers... the "Dark Tower series was special. Roland an anti-hero, and how he wove in many of his other books. His ending is as you said.. "futility". While there is an kind of appeal in this, it's also not true or doesn't have to be. But this poem is about that futility and illusion. Glad you got it KL. Not sure many did. Not sure many read. HA

[redzone]

Forgot, reading "Doctor Sleep" now. Another S.K. book

[Lyn Anderson]

Me too, been pokey at getting back to it. And I agree. Very under rated because of his genre.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

The search for meaning of our existence can be an and less journey… cause just when we think e find the answer and question arises… A thought provoking read.