Bad Flamingo Poetry

inspired by Pryde's Bad Creative Poetry poem and using the same 10 words, here is my attempts at Bad Creative Poetry (the BAD part I have already mastered, thank you)

BAD FLAMINGO POETRY

 

In physics,

a holographic flamingo

is often as subliminal

as a student,

brown with apathy,

studying the drying paint

of a fiscal crisis.

Just as in physics,

attractive forces operate

to bring the whole world

under its influence.

 

Why would flamingos follow

this twisted logic?

 

~~redzone 10.8.13

(as I understand it, the words are: Physics, Holographic,

Flamingo, Subliminal, Student, Brown, Paint,

Fiscal, Attractive and Apathy. The poem should be 15 lines or less.

Not sure how to enter a contest, so won't.)

Author's Note

crits are welcomed, thanks for reading and thanks Pryde for the inspiration.... hope I have not embarassed you with my attempt.

Reviews

[Frieda P]

FAIL Curt, this is so not bad...ha, you have to submit this one though, it's really an intriguing piece....

[Lydia Shutter]

You did a wonderful job with the words, Curt....it amazes me you have magically turned them into a politcal rant! If this is supposed to be BAD poetry, you did a terrible job of it! :) lydi**

[Pryde Foltz]

Flamingos don't follow they fly and so maybe only in v-shape...yeah they follow in a v-shape...there comes the physics.

[Dye]

This isn't bad. lol It actually makes sense. I appreciate what you did with the words given, it was a tricky challenge. I know you said you won't submit it, but you should. Here is the url to go to for the contest:

http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/Creative-Bad-Poetry/48943/

Once you are there just click the "submit writing" button.

Good luck

[Rose of many colours]

Its Ok, We have a natural habitat for flamingoes in Trinidad so is there another kind of flamingo? I am not an expert but I like this piece..