The 'Assassination of a Melancholic Poet' by an 'Innocent Snowflake'.

The 'Assassination of a Melancholic Poet' by an 'Innocent Snowflake'.

Act 1

"On a Lonely Bench"

Black Halo as an Umbrella of mope,
kept away her hunky-dory love.
The black bench & my black coat,
fostered contrast to the white space.

My vagabond soul, desperate enough,
to find a biological way to dodge away.
Yet with shattered thoughts I sat,
touching the iciness all around me.

Act 2

"Rhythmic ride"

100 yards away she stood staring,
complicating the geometry of my gaze.
As a tear generated from my sulky pupil,
an innocent snowflake transfigured this mo.

Sailing through the river of cold winds,
it swept away my diamond tear,
with a slow & soft jog, upon its shoulders,
fled & calligraphed my story in air.

Act 3

"Her syllable"

Recovering from morbid visions,
I walked towards her, sure & hopeful.
Through the frigid attack of nature,
a new me, a happy me, smiling.

Her saturated breaths, formed a sinfonia,
as I came closer, the words fell off her lips.
"I'm sorry" - like a requiem for the part of me,
that just died.

Reviews

[emmah]

those icicles - so complete in their uniqueness and singularity - the float and fall and melt and drip and sparkle and shine and move and overwhelm - those icicles all found their way to this piece - and in the end - they stabbed with their sharp edges - brilliant piece - brutally brilliant!

[Erin]

I love the word "requiem" -- it seemed so perfect in this poem. Not that the individual word is super important, but it is to me. Every writer must remember that every reader is affected by the poem in a different way. That's how I was affected, because it's always what you leave me with. The ending. And you did that well.
Really, your style is incredible. Your word choice is incredible. I'm not big on your fluency and the way your poem moves, but it's not distracting and it's definitely consistent, so it doesn't matter enough to me for me to complain about it. In fact, I just think that all parts of this poem are consistent. Nice job, that's like one of the highest compliments you can get from me. You're consistent, and I like it.
PBP

[Emily B]

I'm blown away by your words . . . welcome back. Looking forward to reading more of you.

[...]

. we seem to be inching closer towards a greater reality ... i wonder though if the killers of our pieces will ever know ... but wait ... i think there's a knock on the door ... it's life ... time to let it in ...

. you look at life ... with a fragile vision here ... yet you're not skeptical ... that something in you which is ticking ... that's what's making you a compelling poet ... it works ... in its random sort of way ... and your story leaves its footprints on thin ice ... a bewitching read ... those icicles as emms says ... they're pretty amazing ...