Chapter 19

The next few weeks were a little tricky.  We were preparing for a comeback and a three-day long concert, and everything was ready to go, we were just having to practice and make sure everything was worked out for the promotional tour we were due to have after the concerts.  I was required to be in the dorms and at the company a lot to ensure I was on board with everything.  I tried to get back to the house as much as possible to be with her, but it was proving hard, coming home late and waking up early to go back, that eventually I told her I couldn’t do it anymore and she agreed to move into the dorms with me.  We had been moved so our dorm was bigger, we were on the same floor with the rest of the guys, and the other dorms were empty for now, with some of the girls already leaving for their promotional events and Jongin and the other guys were on the floor above us.  They had just finished their promotions and now they were all busy preparing for their stage tours in a month.

Jen had taken to learning Korean very well in only the few short weeks she had been applying it and I was impressed.  She put it down to teaching a language and understanding the structures, but she could also speak Chinese, to my surprise, and Indonesian, so maybe she was just good at other languages. 

The teacher came every day for a few hours to the house and to the dorms to help her, and soon she was practicing with everyone she could, Jonghyun Minho Kibum and Jinki fully willing to help her as we spent every night together with them once she moved into the dorms. 

I felt guilty she was alone a lot while I had things to do.  She was understanding but I still felt guilt this was the Korea she was experiencing. After the promotions, we had a bit of time before we were due to tour, so I kept telling myself I would show her more of Korea then.

She had met with the managers when she first came to the dorms as was necessary.  Ours were some of the best and most understanding so she had no issues within the building itself.  She had to make sure to wear an ID tag most of the time, and if anyone asked her outside who she was or what she was doing she was told to ignore them or else call herself staff. 

Thankfully for the moment no one had picked up on her presence or paid much mind to her. 

 A week before we were due to start promotional activities Jongin came to me one evening in the practice room looking stricken. 

‘What’s up?’ I asked him.

‘They want to interview us in English, we’ve got to make a special program all in English and all the tutors are off with everyone else.’ I could see in his eyes he was panicking.

‘Don’t freak out about it’ I told him, ‘half of you can speak English anyway’

‘Yeah but Kyungsoo isn’t going to be there, he’s got filming so he’s being let off, and Jongdae is going out of his mind.  He can’t really teach us anything, Baekhyun isn’t really helping.’

I raised an eyebrow waiting for him to ask.

‘Could, Jen, do you think she could help? I know she’s been learning Korean so I thought maybe at least for me and Chan she could just help us practice what we’ve got to say, help us not sound stupid?’  He looked sheepish, I know he didn’t want to ask this.

‘Sure she will, do you want to come with me and we’ll ask her together?  I’m just about finished here’ I told him.

We made our way up to my room, when we walked in though Baekhyun was already there sitting on the sofa, looking smug while my girlfriend was practically crying with laughter.

As we walked in I gave Jongin a look of surprise, he shrugged at me not sure what was going on either.  Baekhyun immediately turned around to us grinning and said ‘Hey Taemin, I hope you don’t mind, we need some English help up in Exo’

‘Yeah, Jongin told me’ I said to him. 

‘Sorry Tae, I thought it was you and you had forgot something when the door rang.  Baekhyun was telling me about the English levels in Exo’.

‘I guess they’re really hilarious’ I said, and Jongin gave me a half hurt half surprised look. 

‘No, no’ she shook her head clearly not understanding my tone. ‘it’s just the way Baek tells it’.

Baekhyun was grinning to himself as he stood up.  ‘I might need a bit of help, if you have time, but the others are obviously the priority here, it’s ok with you Taemin if we steal her for a bit’

‘That depends if you want to take her right now’ I told him, still unhappy with finding him here.

‘No, no we talked about it and tomorrow is good for us, right Jongin?’  Jongin nodded mutely, ‘Everyone needs to sort this out soon really, we’ve got to do this in a week.  But you’re busy till late preparing for the tour, right?’ Why was it bugging me so much how he was speaking?  I had never felt shy or scared of Baekhyun before and he was bugging me right now as he dismissed me right out of my girlfriend’s schedule. 

Jen looked at me, and her brow furrowed, I tried to reset my face so I wasn’t looking angry or upset.  I put on my best face as I told him, ‘It’s fine with me, as long as it’s fine with her, she’s the one with the tough job trying to get you to all sound like you speak English well.’

I sat down on the floor next to her on the sofa where she snaked her arm over my shoulders.  Jongin hung back leaning in the door frame obviously he wasn’t intending to stay.

‘I don’t mind, know I know a bit of Korean it should be good.  Who is it who needs help again?’ She turned to Jongin for an answer but instead Baekhyun was the one who replied.

‘Jongin here, Sehun, Chanyeol, Minsoek needs a lot of help, Junmyeon is ok but needs things clearing up.  Jongdae is probably the best of all of us but even he’s freaking out right now.  And Kyungsoo is away he won’t be taking part but he wouldn’t really need help anyway.’

‘So, everyone, besides you’ I said.  Jen looked down at me briefly. 

‘Yeah but I’ll be there to supervise.’ He grinned at me.  Urgh.

‘Ok that’s arranged then. Thank you, Jen,’ Jongin said, and she smiled back warmly at him, ‘Come on Baek, let’s go’ Jongin told Baekhyun.  He pouted a little but didn’t push it instead he stood up taking Jens hand and kissing it the same way he had done when he met her and saying ‘beautiful’ with a wink, then he turned to nod at me as he shouted ‘Thanks Taemin’ over his shoulder before leaving. 

I looked at Jen after they had left who looked back at me curiously. 

‘Is everything ok?’ She asked me.

I shrugged at her ‘Yeah, everything’s fine.’

‘No it isn’t’ she said, causing me to snap my head up to look at her. She smiled down at me.  ‘Is it Baekhyun?’ she asked kindly.

‘I don’t know’ I pouted looking down at my hands.

‘Don’t you like him?’ She continued to question me.

‘I do like him, I don’t know I just feel uneasy, I don’t know why.’ I admitted.

‘It’s ok’ She told me.  I looked up into her eyes. I was ashamed at how I was feeling, I knew in my head it was irrational.

‘It is?’ I asked her.

‘Sure, it’s normal.’ She replied. ‘but I don’t think you need to worry about him, or anyone else.  Besides it’s kind of cute when you’re a little jealous’.  She smirked.

I had to admit I felt a little better knowing she knew how I felt.

‘Are you ok with me helping them?’ She asked.

‘If I said no would you still help them?’ I replied.

She thought for a second.  ‘Yes, I would.  Not because I don’t understand how you’re feeling.  I do.  But because you need to see there is no reason to be jealous.  You cannot control other people Taemin, you can only control yourself and learn from experience.  If you don’t experience me being around other guys, not in a romantic way, but in any way, you won’t learn to be ok with it.  I cannot be controlled by you, the same way I cannot try to control you and I wouldn’t want to.  I trust you, and you need to trust me.  Even if you don’t trust other people.  Jealousy is a normal part of a relationship, but if it grows it can also be the death of a relationship.  Do you understand?’

I blinked at her taking in what she had said.  I understood perfectly and it did make sense.  I didn’t want to ruin our relationship with irrational jealousy and I did trust her. 

I nodded to her showing I understood what she said.  She came to sit on the floor next to me and put her arms around me. 

‘I love you’ she told me smiling up at me.  ‘Telling me when you feel uneasy is ok you know, if you tell me I can help you feel better about it right?’

‘Right’ I repeated staring down into her eyes and feeling like the earth had been removed from my shoulders. 

‘I love you too’ I told her lifting her chin up and kissing her.