Epiclogue

The epic finale in the Chronicles of Hodriges.

Animal Control arrived at Daniella McCurfin’s house and retrieved the lifeless body of Hodriges. McCurfin took a few minutes to recover from the shock and confusion that came with the unannounced arrival of Hodriges. She prepared for the day with a big bowl of cereal. She took her car and left for the long-awaited press conference for her book.

After parking, McCurfin was greeted by a small group of police officers at the doors. Despite the fact that McCurfin showed her identification, the police did not admit her. Showing his badge, an officer stated “Daniella McCurfin, for killing an endangered species, you will be fined $3,500 under the Endangered Species Act. You have up to one week to appeal and your crime will be public information.

In the press conference, every question from the media was about the fine that was just handed to McCurfin. Her book, I Love Cats and My Opponents Don’t, sold miserably in bookstores and McCurfin fell to fifth in the candidate rankings. She lost the animal lovers demographic, but won the votes from the gun enthusiasts. With just a few months left before the primaries began, McCurfin needed a major boost in the polls.

Immediately, Daniella left for a tour of the country with one rally per day in each state. She travelled light, along with her husband Lorenzo McCurfin and her campaign manager Phil Minao. Her rallies grew larger and larger as she slowly regained some voters. She headed into the southern states ranked #4 in the polls.

Her rally in Oklahoma was delayed due to a rat infestation in the area. McCurfin, working on a tighter budget due to a regression in donations after the Hodriges incident, stayed in a rural suburb rather than one of the few classy hotels Omaha has to offer.

In the middle of the night, McCurfin woke up to find a rat crawling on her face. She flung her upper body out of bed, flinging the rat across the room to crash to the floor near the closet. She turned on the lights to find an entire swarm of rats drinking out of a large puddle that appeared to be supported by tornado ruins. Daniella shooed the rats aside and picked up the makeshift basin. She notified the exterminators that she discovered the source that caused the increase in the rat population.

The basin was removed from the scene for examination and the rally went through as planned. A few days later, news was released that the ruhium tetraflacine solution McCurfin handed in was found to contain cancer-curing elixir. The rally gained record-breaking attendance after the discovery. McCurfin became the presidential front-runner and went on to win the election.

Despite an impressive campaign, McCurfin knew very little about how to manage a country, and Minao was completely useless. Luckily for them McCurfin was able to funnel the profits from her royalty on the ruhium tetraflacine into the federal budget and boost the economy. This surplus went into education funding and ended up being a huge success. McCurfin had one of the highest approval ratings in American history and retired from politics at the end of her term. She made the rest of her living off the ruhium tetraflacine and an occasional advertisement sponsorship with Coca Cola.

~Fin~