Prinsky Business

Svetlana Prinsky is profiled, as she is the second encounter for Hodriges, and the first of any kind of significance. The first boy was trash and you know it.

Svetlana Prinsky was an incredibly accomplished individual, especially for her age. At just 23 years old, she is a world famous director. Mostly famous for her work on an undisputed top-ten film of all time, Doom House, Prinsky was known for her bizarre personality and habits. She revolutionized the world of casting by choosing some of the worst auditions she saw and realizing great success under this method. Doom House was immediately seen as the pinnacle of directing genius and rocketed Prinsky to stardom. Since then, Prinsky has been seen using her over $2 million in earnings to do whatever the flying f**k she wants.

Svetlana is also known as an avid player of video games. People notice her around often due to her unmistakable blue hair and ask her for autographs. She has only been known to sign one so far, because the request was made by somebody with a cute dog. The rest have usually been told to f**k off because she was playing video games, which are far more important.

Just last Monday, Prinsky told the other staff members of her next film, Confessions of a Total B***h, that she would be “peace-ing out” because she was tired of the cast members and their daily bullshit. The cast had barely accomplished anything in the last twelve hours and Prinsky said that working until 6:00 AM was not something she wanted to do. Nearly crashing twice on the way home, she was barely able to stay awake. She arrived at her mansion in Hoboken at 6:48 in the morning and was more ready than ever to crash on her luxurious bed.

She entered the room and without bothering to change into pajamas, closed the window and tucked herself into bed. Little did she know that a deadly creature was slap-happy and hiding in her closet. Once the clock struck 7:00, Hodriges emerged from her bedroom closet, where he had been hiding for over five hours. He waddled over to the bed to find the semi-conscious Prinsky sprawled above the covers. It took just two slaps from the spiked wings of Hodriges before Prinsky would never make another film again.

Hodriges escaped the house easily, since Svetlana Prinsky lived alone. Hodriges finished off a half-eaten pizza Svetlana had left in an open box on the front lawn a few weeks before and set out to find his next victim.

Meanwhile, Prinsky’s death caused the value of her things to skyrocket in value. The one signature she ever gave out was sold for $10 million dollars to an Azerbaijani museum and put on display with gold framework. The box office saw the sales of Doom House increase tenfold in the following week, and her other films received meaningful increases in demand as well. Confessions of a Total B***h was finished, but according to the Westwood Reviews, it lacked “that certain Prinsky element”, and was regarded as an epic failure.

The cause of Prinsky’s death was never determined, but there was a wide-scale investigation that lasted three weeks.