The Race

a short poem about running. not my favorite, but its still high on my list. pretty simple by ways of imagery.

My heart wildly thumping,

Can’t slow down.

My legs onward pumping,

The blur of speed around.

 

Salt laced lips,

The summer sky exalting.

All these little ticks,

Onward never halting.

 

Exhilarating speed,

Causing all to pound.

 The songs of some great deed,

Footsteps pounding into the ground.

Reviews

[C. Rose]

Very engaging rhythm, even more engaging than the piece where I said your rhythm was engaging. I forget which one. I think it was the candle one - spark life or life spark.

I like the first two stanzas. "salt laced lips" and "little ticks" and "wildly thumping" and "onward pumping" are cool.

The last stanza feels off, specifically the partially developed idea of the last couplet, even more specifically the rhythm of the last line.

[Baby Ricochet]

Loved it. I know these feelings from bodybuilding. It brings a kind of in the moment clarity that nothing else can. Kudos

[zainul]

I can imagine the states of your mind and your actions while running.
Expressed nicely.