You think you know Me

You think you know me.

(The complexities of being yourself)

 

In my dreams I’m a counterculture revolutionary. Fist fighting up in the air, Che Guevara style. When I open my eyes I’m Annette trying to be Annie. Maybe I was Anny all along. Maybe I’ve been a counterculture revolutionary all along too. But how do we prove the above as true? Time will show, they always say in that stupid sing-song voice. But sometimes you don’t want to wait for time, do you? Time’s a b***h.

And somehow I always have to latch onto my exact opposites. I guess I seek that thrill of differing and things not always going according to plan. Variety is the spice of life.

Little piece of wisdom, that is. I’m full of little pieces of wisdom.

Wise words, those are. But what use are they in a world of fools...?

My name means “grace of God” I guess that’s pretty neat. It’s an �"ette name too. So if you combine it with Ann you get a classic old fashioned girl with a hint of the flirt. I guess I am old-fashioned, in my views about things. I love the way things were before I was born.

In Spanish my name would be Aneta Guerrero, because of my last name meaning “warrior” “wrestler” “champion” and “combat.” I come from a long line of strong people, and of that I am proud. I have a fighter spirit myself, always wanting my way and ending up getting it too. I say what I mean and I mean what I say. Even though people think I’m just nice and using sarcasm. Nooo, I don’t do sarcasm. I actually intend to say what I’m saying.

I guess I’ve never really had a regard for people’s feelings. You can decide whether you’re going to let what someone says influence you or not, so why shouldn’t I say what’s on my mind? So if I tell you you’re acting pathetic, hate to break it to you but you are. I don’t do sympathy either. Come to think of it I’m not exactly pro at empathy either.

But I do have feelings myself, thank you very much. Even though I don’t show them often. I don’t do crying in front of people. Inside I just want to be accepted and know that I’m wanted. That’s pretty much all that I want in life. I’m a security-freak though. I need things to be set and safe, no nasty surprises. That’s why I hate not knowing everything about things.

I used to be a dreamer, before someone went and let me down and I learned never to trust anybody except myself. You never know with people.

So I like being in control. I like being the boss, the one who calls the shots. If I can’t do it my way, I’m not doing it at all. Bad attitude, I know. Compromising has never been my strong point. So I’m stuck in an I’m-always-right complex. Sorry to say, but I am right most of the time.

I’m skilled with words. That’s a very dangerous trait to have, seeing that people with that characteristic are prone to be expert liars, deceivers, and manipulators.

Which is not a bad thing, honestly? I can use my talent to do good too.

I know I’m a powerful, strong person in a place of influence. So logically I have an ego the size of Mount Kilimanjaro. And it often gets in the way. Especially with guys. I’ll always try to outdo them, prove that I’m better. I’m naturally competitive. When I do something, I do it to be the best or I don’t do it at all. I find it a mission to be modest.

I don’t worry about things. But I love trouble. Trouble seems to follow me.

So I guess I now have to put a face to this description. If you were imagining a plain, mousy average-sized brown haired girl, you are sore wrong.

I’m the only redhead in my school. The only proper red red one, that is. The rest are all faded strawberry blonde. And my hair’s not orange either. Its red, the color of fire.

Keen green eyes, I have. Green witch’s eyes. They disappear when I laugh though. With my eyes I can make you question the very point of your existence.

I’m short. But dynamite comes in small packages. I can sprint really fast, a total adrenaline junkie. Dare me to walk on the school’s roof and I will. Nothing’s too hard.

I’ve got freckles. Full stop.

I’ve got ugly hands, in my opinion. And a button-ish nose I hate. I’d rather have a small pointy one. Normal mouth. A big mouth, figuratively speaking. No secret is safe with me for too long. Small ears. High-ish cheekbones. Strong, square jaw,

But all this is subject to change. I hate change. But I myself change of opinions all the time. I’m very opinionated.

I’m a four season’s girl. I’ve got the summer in my smile, the spring in my step, the autumn in my hair and the coldness of winter in my heart. I’m a b***h sometimes. But I can be sweet. Most people look at me and think I’m just the cutest thing. Until they know me, that is. But I can be very agreeable. Depends on whether I like you or not.

 

Taking that all into accordance I guess I must be a pretty tough person to live with. But I do have people I’d go to the ends of the earth for. People I’d happily abandon myself for and follow them around like a content little sheep. Precious few, though. But for them I’d gladly take punches and break bones.

These people are often, like I said, my exact opposites. Matt hates quarreling of any kind, and I live for my next big fight. My friend Zoë disagrees with every single statement I make.

But if I decide to let you in, you can bet your a*s I’ll fight for you to the death. I’ll stand up for you and protect you even if it kills me. You’ll never be alone. Not while I’m still around.

They call me The Flame. I just never get burned out.

I’ve felt the hardships of life. I’ve seen it all. If you can show me something new I’d be surprised. I like adventure. But my idea of adventure doesn’t always correspond with everyone else’s.

A few little known facts? Speaking Italian to me turns me on in a heartbeat. I never drink sugar in anything. I’m gonna be president someday. I don’t care if you’re laughing now. I drink brandy in my coke. And everything else. I’m a pro at target-shooting. I can climb a tree faster than you. I love Britney Spears. I wish I was Amish sometimes. I’m getting lots of tattoos. I can give you one. I have this thing for sharp objects. I constantly have little cuts or bruises all over me. I always walk into things. I can dance pretty well if I let you see me. I wear boy pants. I tease a lot of girls because I have a bigger chest than them.

I loathe pacman. I’ll punch you if you irritate me. I love Barbie. I can lift very heavy objects. Ginger is my favorite smell. I can get high off coke and sunshine. I hate agreeing to disagree. I have Apiphobia. I once made a fire in the bath. I wish I could skateboard. I can do American accents from three different states. I read like a maniac. I can write incredibly fast. I know all about Ancient Egypt and the American Frontier. Sometimes I wish I was colored.

 

My tag reads “No Guts, No Glory.” Are you feeling the burn? I think I’m the ----.

And you betchar a*s I am.

Not impressed?

Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet...'Cause when it all comes down, I'll be the one with my fist in the air yelling HASTA LA VICTORIA SIEMPER like I just don't care.

Long Live.