A Dead Man

Suddenly I'm beginning to understand how my peers truly view me. I came to this school in hopes that I would be an average person, because, anywhere but here anyway, I'm anything but. It's these... Teenage minds, that I've never quite understood. Curse these men who seem to see me as nothing but a play thing. Of course, that's how any teenage girl is usually viewed, in majority, at least. I despise how they so averagely wrap their arms around my waist, or play with my hair as if I was 'their woman'. But no, I am no ones woman.

I was.. Once, someone's only girl. The connection we shared was like one I've never seen, even with the experiences I've obtained. He was my shining sun, and with every fiber of my being, I loved him. Unfortunetly, fate is a cruel, demented thing. It would seem that fate exists only to kill me, ironic. I wish everyday that I never had experienced, lived, such a connection with another. For now, I fear it is something I can never regain.

Heartbreaking, no? I tried to move on, truly I did. And for a while, I was very content with this feeling of normality. However, this feeling, just like any other, has left my thoughts quicker than I would wish it to. So again, I am left with this feeling of... Emptiness. But I have never been one to live a cowards life, so I shall continue to live. The past cannot change, nor will my unrequited love that I still hold for a dead man. That's just it, you see. He is dead, gone.. Forever. The sooner I come to terms with that, the sooner I may again find a love life waiting, perhaps one that will not be so temporary. A love.. That will be a true bond in my heart, a fully adequate one.

Maybe I'll be able to love someone who does not just want with lust, but with love. Someone I can love, just as I love a dead man, who, even in lifelessness, showed me the truth and beauty in the world. 

Until such a day, I suppose life will not change, and I will continue to feel this gathered empty ache in my gut. It is a very strange experience. To be crowded with friends who care for you with the strength of one thousand worlds, surrounded with men who lust your "witty charm", which can only be explained behind unworldly abilities, and still feel so alone. It seems as though the story I tell you is a very common one, and anyone who reads the words I write have probably been through a "similar situation". But it is not at all the same, not similar whatsoever. Every person has a different life story, and I truly hate to be told by another, "I know what it's like". For now, I am no one's but my own, I was his, as I've said. But you cannot belong to a dead man, you can simply love one.

Forever.

Reviews

[Satchmo's Gal]

All through out history, women have been treated as property, some cultures even going so far as to selling their females into the sex industry (like in Thailand and India).
A couple of things. First 'waist' instead of 'waste', and 'so averagely' doesn't quite make sense to me. I would also recommend indented paragraphs. Other than that great job!!

[TopHatGirl]

I understand. We are just eye candy to men, only toys, only items, not humans. Sexist b******s. (im such a hypocrite.)

[WriterMe]

Oh I loved the personal noted this piece had. You could almost feel the narrators pain and hate. Emotions were so tangible and strong. Very well worded and conveyed.
Paragraphs are recommended.
Great work otherwise.