Because I smile

Because I smile

People look and stare and tell me I am heartless

I sit inside of my own world

I gaze towards a verdant green sky, 

the sun lighting up grass and trees

People look and stare

They don't see the girl I am inside

The silent sky whispers slowly, gently

A sound in my heart

Evaporating, extinguishing red and orange fires,

a ball of green kryptonite

A little kid screaming in the night

Her hair is dark and her eyes are blue-green, glistening 

Her smile is hidden, her tears for joy

Mistaken for sorrow

Her fits of what the hell is happening

It's not rage inside, its feeling awkward,

it's listening, its lost in a fantasy world

It's thinking someone out there might understand

So she watches TV shows about people like her

And she smiles again - Someone sees

The invisible tears as she washes off her make-up,

glitter in her eyes,

shooting for a translucent moon

A silver sliver that she holds deep inside

People misunderstand her

People look and stare

And she walks away, it's okay because you see,

She's okay

She's okay

The freak outs and banging her head, not knowing why

I lived twenty years not knowing who I am

I spent a long time being that silent girl

I'm still that girl

And I will whisper my secrets, and then fly away

I will cry because everything was so real and crazy and yes,

The whole world is crazy and I am so alive and my truths are real

That little girl sits in a classroom and closes her ears and doodles trees and hearts with wings

She sits at the math team tournament

Figuring out problems she was never taught how to solve

And now these problems are not math problem

But it's okay

because she still knows how to smile.