Perspective

I can remember myself coloring  in a workbook. Not knowing then that when I grow up I’d have to leave those crayons behind. I was just a carefree, lighthearted, and joyous little girl who would cry at any mention of “napping”. The only thing on my mind was what color to use next and what time Dora the Explorer would come on. I imagine my young self sitting in a green chair while scribbling away atop a wooden desk fit for the size of a five year old. I laugh when I think about how I would always purposely cut myself with the edge of a page. You’re probably wondering why I’d do such a thing. Why would I intentionally hurt myself and love the sight of my own blood? The answer is simply the reward. No one would ever hurt themselves without the thought of getting some kind of a reward. I noticed that when I’d get a papercut, my teacher would immediately grab her box of band-aids and wrap one around my finger. Everyone was always jealous because they never hurt themselves and they never got one. I can’t tell if it was such a smart thing to hurt myself to get something I wanted. My teacher eventually noticed what was happening when one day I left the pre-K classroom with a band-aid on 3 of my little fingers. I somehow remember her face when she had realized how sadistic of a child I was. I wasn’t totally infatuated with the pain I was feeling, I would only think about the happiness I’d receive after the pain. I came to the conclusion that no one else thought the way that I did.

I became aware of my dissimilar thought processes, and I used them to my advantage throughout my teenage years. Recalling the seventh grade, I participated in the twenty-sixth annual science fair at Wilmont Middle School. Having hundreds of ideas in mind of what to teach my peers, the one I chose shocked the majority of the Wilmont staff. The title of my project drew people in like ants and sugar. ‘LET’S DROWN ANTS’ stood out among the twenty other presentations done by middle school children. It seemed like everyone was appalled, but that was before they knew what the fire ants were capable of doing. The fear factor of “killing” things only drew a bigger crowd to my section of the auditorium. I didn’t actually end up killing any ants at all. You see, when ants are faced with the destruction of their colony, they think smart and protect the most important part of it, the queen ant. They gather to link legs and mouths until the whole colony forms a raft. The queen and other ants are on top of a mass of bodies in the middle of the raft and are most likely to survive the journey from water to land. Along the journey ants could be lost due to a multitude of things. They rebuild their colony once they arrive on land.

Reviews

[Astrid]

Interesting read. Learned something new about ants; I always enjoy learning something new.
Though I'm wondering why would you give yourself papercuts? Were the band-aids the reward or was it the special attention that was paid to you after?