Without her...

Written in an early morning walk to school...

Without her,
I have no strength...
Like a leaf swaying on the wind...
Falling down...
With no power against it...
Without her,
I'm so hollow...
With only a picture of her...
Traveling inside me,
To no end...
Without her,
I am not I...
I only live to be beside her...
To love her...
Never let her go...
Without her,
I'm alone...
Like an unopened letter...
Locked in a drawer...
Never to be found...
Left to rot...
Covered in dust...
Longing for light...
Without a sound...

Reviews

[Mia]

This was an amazing piece I love the short phrasing and its structure

[I Am Svetlana]

'Like an unopened letter...
Locked in a drawer...'
These would most likely be my favorite lines and the ones that stood out to me the most. It's strange how one person can make us feel so...powerless without them, yet so powerful with them around. Like a superhero, but another is able to control when you have use of your powers. I liked the imagery and inner meaning behind this...the wanting...the longing...

[Frontier]

Very good! Very painful! I like the short lines.
Looking forward to exchange reviews.

[Sami Khalil]

"Without her,
I'm so hollow...
With only a picture of her...
Traveling inside me,
To no end... "

Bravo

[Pryde Foltz]

Nice!!! A series of short phrases that flow as if each were much longer. I think accomplished by your choice to start each phrase with only few choice sounds--w, i. l--. Great Job.