Frozen King

Piece dedicated to the person I love... Spoken trough the echoing thoughts of the frozen emperor...

It feels like millenniums have passed...
I'm cold...
So cold...
Who am I you ask?
I'm nobody...
I am the ruler of this frozen waste...
I have no army...
No living soul...
Only ice...
Chains...
Darkness...
I have nothing...

...

...
...
A spark...
A kiss...
You're eyes are closed...
What is this?
Is this the moment of my life?
No... It's just a dream...
I know it is...
But it feels so real!
Your lips melting the ice from mine...
They are so warm... So warm,
it almost makes makes me feel alive...
Who are you?
Why... Why have you come,
to me, the frozen king?
I witness my own awakening
as a tear drops from my eye...
Carving trough the ice...
It burns...
My throne is shattered...
It's melting beneath me.
Even the glaciers of eternity...
Even they show no power against your burning kiss...
Chains... Frozen no more...
Your skin is soft...
So soft...
I embrace you...
I embrace this moment,
With my frozen hands.
The image trapped in ice...
I want to feel this forever...
But the ice...
The ice is too strong...
Did this really happen?
No... It didn't...
But it will... Someday...
Because if it doesn't...
I have no purpose...
This throne of ice...
These chilling chains
that bound me to it...
This body... Frozen...
For eternity...
All of that wouldn't have any purpose...
This spark...
It gives me hope...
Hope that someday...
Someday I will feel...
the warmth of sun...
The touch of grass...
The tingling of wind...
Your... Your lips...
This spark...
It still burns inside...
Inside the shards of ice that froze my life...
It still burns...
But now...
There is no sky for me...
Only darkness...
In my frozen realm...
On my throne...
I sleep...
But someday...
I feel that my eyes...
My eyes will open...
And i will see...
A spark...
A kiss...

...
   Sarah... 

Author's Note

The triple dots were placed to enhance the feeling of echoing thoughts of the slow, long frozen emperor...

Reviews

[emmajoy]

Your poem is beautiful and is both subtly erotic and exotic. Never quite seen words thaw then tickle the sight like this.. tis extraordinary, almost mesmerising. There are so many gently placed phrases, tis hard to select one that flashes into my mind.. too many might stun .Okay, okay .. after a third read,

'Your skin is soft...
So soft...
I embrace you...
I embrace this moment,
With my frozen hands.
The image trapped in ice...
I want to feel this forever...
But the ice...
The ice is too strong...
Did this really happen?
No... It didn't...
But it will... Someday... '

Sigh.

[Mirko Galušić]

Thanks for the great review!

[emmajoy]

you're welcome

[.Em.]

Bravo Bravo Bravo I love love loved it! The adjectives perfect. The dots and the emphasis were put in all the right places. And the ending! Finally putting a name to the mystery woman that has the king dreaming of the sun. It makes me want to know more about this Sarah. Great write! Rhanks so much for posting.

[Achaicus]

Svaka cast :D Nema potrebe za drugim rijecima, sve je vec receno...ne citam puno poezije ali me naslov zaintrigirao pa eto...Jako dobro slozeno...

[Falling Leaf.]

I really have no words to say that haven't already been said below me.

Powerful, compelling, beautiful, yes, but it'd be a waste of time for me to write a review like the ones in this list beneath me.

So... this is probably going to be weird but I'll just write what I feel after reading this piece of lyric.

You didn't just pull my heartstrings, honny, you took each one and snip-snip-snip I was gone. I fell into that frozenness too. Just being in your ice king's heart--just in that fleeting minute that it took to read this song--just that brief encounter with the heat of a kiss was enough to make me shiver. I could hear and feel those echoes all the way from my heart to my toes. It hurts to be locked in ice. Maybe one day we'll all be set free like the lucky soul in your song.

This is not a poem. It's a song. A poem is meant to stay as words, written down done-and-forgetten, just ink on paper that kind of vaguely feel nice (if written correctly) as you read them out loud. But this you can feel begging to be sung. To be strung lightly along a gentle and quiet piano chord.

I'm starting to ramble. I'll be along now, in just a moment.

"A spark...
A kiss...
You're eyes are closed...
What is this?
Is this the moment of my life?
No... It's just a dream...
I know it is...
But it feels so real!
Your lips melting the ice from mine...
They are so warm... So warm,
it almost makes makes me feel alive... "

If you haven't put this to music yet--and judging from the content of your "About Me," you probably have, you need to get up and go do it right now.

Bravo, honny, and keep doin' it, godspeed.

-M

[I Am Svetlana]

I love how this piece was told from the perspective of the king, when most poems would tell from the narrators point of view about that character. My favorite part was probably when he talked about a woman coming to him and kissing his lips, helping them melt because hers were so warm. It was a beautiful and power image. It tells a wonderful story :)

[Lone Wolf]

This was a very powerful piece, and told in a very unique way. I appreciate the way you made it seem like the king's weariness was echoing and slow... and, when you describe the kiss, you create a spark of hope, then that faint smile of joy that comes only when reading about a piece like this. Very wonderful job, very creative!
~Owl

[Aarea]

Very nice, ,the picture was a nice touch. It reminded me a little of Captain America. :) Great writing, I loved the dots, they added a lot to the poem. Great story!

[Imelda Blackheart]

Mirko Galušić,
Thank you so much for submitting this piece to my contest, "Empty." Even if it does not win, I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed this beautiful poem; it was one of the submissions that made me feel... whole. Does that make any sense? Anyway, getting to the point; this was a fantastic piece. Keep on writing! :D

[Mizo4]

interesting poem which seemed to create in my mind at 5am when i reviewed it a sense of someone in purtatory imagining the world outside and burning sensation of passion which is found in love, the darkness of a frozen realm is where the person is now and oneday they will have another lease of life

[Samuel Jack]

An interesting take on a love poem. I really like the metaphor. I can imagine a person who is far away or feels far away from a person they love or desire.

I did feel the poem was a little long but only by about 4 or 5 lines.

Good words!

[Pryde Foltz]

This was a very compelling read. How I wanted that ice to melt for you.