To Whom it May Concern

A brief letter to the secret agents in your high school

A message to all undercover agents

You have been asked to embark on one of the most frightening journey’s an undercover agent can take, high school. I applaud your bravery for jumping back into those insane hormone driven years. A few tips for those who may not remember what it was like.

Never raise your hand in a class, aside from the unfairness of the matter you being a well-educated adult and all. Most teens either try not to be noticed or don’t want to look like a know-it-all in front of their friends,and friends are EVERYTHING in high school.

To stay in the popular crowd (which is where you need to be to stop the majority of the up and coming super villains) don’t hang out with anyone with braces, frizzy hair, freckles, pimples, or grades above a 4.0. These people will likely become the next in line to be your boss, and the isolation will be character building.

Avoid the food at all costs. I don’t think it will do you any lasting harm, but your adult body is just incapable of digesting it anymore. Teenagers do NOT get heartburn.

Finally be sure you blend in with your appearance. Ladies, the idea is to wear what every other popular girl is wearing, but not the exact same thing as the other girls, it’s a fine line. Gentlemen, for heaven’s sake shave! you will see a scraggly man child occasionally, but in high school the boys generally shave to keep the abnormal looking hair growth on their faces to a minimum.

Thank you for your service agents.

This message will self-destruct in 5-4-3….