Where is the TV Remote

Juxtaposing what was

With what could have been

I escape into my thoughts

The anger still burns

Though no longer all consuming

Painful regrets linger around

Like unwanted party guests

Staying around to mock me

Like a cheesy Jay Leno joke

For so many years

I’ve punished myself

For sins more imagined than real

So much easier to forgive others

As I do not have to live with them

But I’m a miser

When it comes to self- forgiveness

God speaks to me, forgives my crimes

For I have confessed

Yet I still insist on this

For the devil is full of reminders

Of what I am capable of

Of what I have done

Of what I should be

I exist in the flesh of a flawed man

With the soul of a time traveler

Reliving everything over and over

Until I solve the eternal riddles

What is the meaning of life ?

What is the sound of one hand clapping ?

And finally, where is the TV remote ?