This place is not home.

I think what hurts me the most is all the pain I see in people. The pain, the hurting, the coldness, the bitterness. Not being able to take that pain away is what kills me. I genuinely don’t know what to do or how to help, help make that pain go away. I sit and write in tears hoping and praying that God reaches out to them and teaches them and talks to them. Let them know there is hope. Let them know there is light. The world is not all pain and suffering, it is also all beauty and light. You just have to fill yourself with that. Do things that fill you up with light. With love. With beauty. Meditate, be around love, be love, imagine you are love and carry that with you.

The world is not meant to be a painful place. We have just lost touch with things that truly matter in life. We strive to be known, to be successful, to make a lot of money when in reality, none of those things is what truly matters in life. We have forgotten what it is like to sit in circles, dance, be with people, share laughs, tell stories. We are all so filled up with stress, anxiety, fears. All these things manifesting daily because of these pressures, technology, this fucked up system we live in.

We created this life, that's the sad part. How do we uncreate and recreate an image and idea of what truly matters? 

How many people would actually listen?

Everyone is already sold on this life that has no meaning. This life of money, this life of material, of class, of status. Everyone is already sold on this lifestyle that has been created to destroy and brainwash.

We have lost touch with the earth. We have lost touch with nature, animals, the sun, the moon, the stars, the galaxy, the air, water. True beauty is no longer in our sight. Beauty is now seen as big butts and plumped lips. 

Who sold us these ideas? Why? 

Why did we believe them?

Who is f*****g with our head?

Why are we believing these things?

How do we stop this?

Is it too late?

These are the things I think of, this is the s**t that's inside of me. 

Just this lost soul in a world where she does not belong. 

Where is my home? I do not belong here.

Where is my home, this is not it.

Where are my people, I have not found them.

I am lost, a lost soul that has not found her way or made sense of this place. This place is not home.