Heroes and Villains

A collective narrative on an ancient story. A retelling.

    Once upon a time in an ancient age when the world had been washed clean and the voices of those whose blood soaked the earth were not as loud, there lived men of renown. There were some that walked with and knew the one true God and there were those who knew God but chose to spite him with offerings and prayers to graven images and unto the elements. These men were divided into the righteous and the wicked, the weak minded followers and leaders of men. This collective narrative attempts a retelling of the oldest story on earth “Good versus Evil” and the extreme personalities of these Heroes and Villains of antiquity.

Story I: The Hunter

    There once lived a mighty warrior king. He was born ninety years after the waters of the great deluge had receded. He would be a man of renown and the world’s first king. The future great man was named Nimrod and he was the son of Cush, grandson of Ham and great grandson of the first boat-wright, Noah. Nimrod was born the youngest of six boys, but he was most  favored by his father. Then a time came when Nimrod was a young man that his father gave him an extraordinary gift. It was the cloak God had made for Adam to cover his nakedness and to tame the animals in his proximity so that he could better hunt them for food. The cloak was handed down to the sons of Adam through his son Seth. Noah was in Seth’s line and so rescued it from the flood. One day, while Noah danced before the lord, drunk in his vineyard, Ham stole the cloak from his father’s tent and hence passed it through his line. Nimrod grew into a mighty man and great hunter before the lord. His offerings of sacrifice were pleasing to the lord above all and Nimrod loved the lord.

    In time Nimrod became a leader of men and full of himself; so much so that he felt he no longer needed God. He told his people that he fed them, not God. He said to them “I protect you, not God.” He then proclaimed “I make the laws by which you will follow, not God!” The weak and the wicked then became the subjects of the first king on earth and Nimrod relocated his people to a new land. His new kingdom was in a low land called Shinar. This low land was said to be fertile due to all the bodies that had come to rest there when the great flood waters receded. Here, Nimrod became an administrator, builder of cities, warrior and a demigod.

Story II: A Hero is Born

    In the land of Shinar there once ruled a wicked king. This king was a man of renown. His name was Nimrod and he was a great hunter before the lord and a persuader of men.

    On a wondrous evening when King Nimrod threw a celebration for his most trusted adviser Terach, for he had a son that day, the heavens put on a show. All the peoples of Shinar witnessed one great star shooting across the horizon, swallowing all the stars in it’s path. The king gathered his astrologers and asked them for the meaning. They told him that it was clear. Abram, Terach’s newborn son was the great star and that he would swallow us all. King Nimrod the persuader of men called for his most trusted adviser Terach.

“Terach, give Abram unto me and I will make you wealthy.” Nimrod said plainly.

The father of Abram was ready for this and answered the king.

“Consider the following scenario.” Terach began

“Imagine I was offered a fortune to sell the king’s personal horse; would you suggest I agree with the deal?” he asked the king.

“This is exactly what you ask of me. What can money do to replace my own son?’ he finish off.

    King Nimrod then sent his soldiers throughout his cities and lands to kill all newborn males. Terach had Abram sent to a far off land and brought a slave’s child to the king. Nimrod then crushed the child's head with a raised piece of earthenware. The great hunter sleeps well that night.

Story III: The Hero Returns

    Once, in the land of our ancestors, a wicked king ruled. His name was Nimrod, and he was said to have been a great hunter before the lord. Nimrod wanted to be as God and convinced his people to build a tower for their god-king. This tower was to reach the very heavens. King Nimrod was also known as a great persuader of men. He convinced his people to build and build and build, so much so that there every breath was dedicated to this task. It was said that a single brick lost over the side brought more grief than the death of a child.

   God watched the people of Shinar and waited for the project to increase until it had taken all the people in all the land. One day God confused their tongues so that they could not communicate in a single language. The wicked king watched helplessly as his grand ziggurat emptied and his subjects scattered across the world. His plans for storming the heavens and vanquishing God himself had failed.

    Two years after the majority of his people migrated elsewhere in groups of common tongue, life in Shinar had started to get back to normal. King Nimrod built a new city and the people called it Babel in memory of the great building project and the catastrophe that ended it. Now, most of the peoples in the land spoke the same language and life went on.

    One day King Nimrod received a message explaining that his old friend and retired advisor Terach apparently deceived him fifty years ago. Abram lived! He was back now and he was wreaking havoc on the city’s temples.

Story IV: A whispered Prophecy

    And it was on the day of Asherah that Abram, son of Terach, and his younger brother Haran were given over to the wicked king of Babel in the land of Shinar.

    The two men looked each other in the eye but said nothing. The only sound that could be heard in the big room was the roar of the fire in the great furnace. The king had a temporary throne built in the fire chamber for the specific purpose of watching his enemy roast alive. This particular enemy that now stood before him with his idiot brother was special. The king scrutinized the two men from his lofty perch as he ate honeyed dates, occasionally spitting the pits out in their direction. The wicked king finally spoke.

“I worship fire.”

Abram only looked at the king and said nothing. The king then waved his hand in a grand gesture towards the giant doors at the far end of the chamber. King Nimrod, son of Cush, grandson of Ham and great grandson of Noah, smiled at the two men. A moment later the doors opened and two palace guards entered escorting a middle aged man with apparent diminished faculties. Before the three men had reached the middle of the room the king had nodded to another guard who opened the great furnace door. The two escorts then lifted the simple man and threw him into the inferno.

    Abram’s younger brother stood just behind his left side and tried his hardest to keep a brave face while his older brother provoked the great king with his silence.

The king waited only moments after the screams had been silenced by scorched lungs before he spoke again.

“You will worship the fire.” he said with a smirk.

“Then shall I worship the water which puts off the fire?” Abram replied, erasing the king’s smile.

“Worship the water!” the king said irritatedly.

“Then shall I worship the cloud which carries the water?” Abram asked, with feigned politeness.

The younger brother watched all this with concealed terror. ‘If my brother’s god wins this then I shall tell the king I am with my brother but if he loses I will tell the king that I worship fire.’ he thought.

“Worship the cloud!” the king said loudly. His voice rang out in the hot chamber.

“Then shall I worship the wind that scatters the clouds from the sky?” Abram asked.

“Worship the wind!” the king said, now gritting his teeth.

“Then shall I worship the human who withstands the wind?”

“You pile words upon words. I bow to none but the fire. In it I shall throw you and let the god you bow to come save you from it.” the king said. His smile returned.

The door to the great furnace was again opened and Abram was thrown into the inferno. When Haran gazed upon the conflagration and witnessed his brother walking around the furnace comfortably on the white hot coals, he answered the king as to his position in the rivalry.

“I am Abram’s!” he said with new confidence.

The king’s men took Haran and threw him into the furnace beside his brother and watched as his stomach burst. Abram then stepped back into the chamber brushing his brother’s gore from his robes and exhaling smoke through his nostrils. Just then King Nimrod aspirated a pit. His eyes bulged from his head and his face turned colors. Abram stepped up onto the throne platform and whispered into the king's ear. He then slapped the wicked king’s back with such force, the pit flew from his mouth.

    That night Abram walked home beside his a*s loaded down with riches. He would continue harassing the idolaters and praising God the rest of his life.

Story V: A Prophecy Fulfilled

    In a far off land called Canaan, a long long time ago lived and died God’s chosen one. His name was Abraham. It was a name God gave him, meaning “A father of many nations”. Because Abraham loved the Lord he was blessed above all and feared no enemy. He lived to witness many things in his one hundred and seventy five years. But one of the last things for him to witness was the birth of his twin grandsons, Esau and Jacob. The father of many nations smiled when he beheld the first born come into the world with a full body of hair. This was Esau, he knew.

    Fifteen years had passed since that day and Esau had grown into a young man with a reputation in the Canaanite underworld. Today he sits in a forest, his brother Jacob stews lentils in a mourning tent.

    The wind blows through the wild young man’s hair as he lies in wait for his victim. He smells the old hunter on the air and readies himself.

    Nimrod the mighty hunter, the retired king of Nineveh on the plains, was an old man now and he spent his days hunting game all over Mesopotamia. Today he hunted in the northern forest of Canaan with his two trusted bodyguards.

    When the hunting party was in range, Esau threw a well aimed stone into the temple of the closest bodyguard. The man fell dead to the ground. Esau then charged the king’s horse and clubbed so that it fell over pinning the king down. All of this was done in the time it took the second bodyguard to quiver an arrow and draw his bow. Esau seemed unnaturally fast to the man left on the horse. He easily dodged the arrow and tipped the man from his mount. Before he could recover from his fall, the wild hairy man child was on him. They wrestled and fought all morning until Esau broke the man’s leg at the knee. The bodyguard screamed out in agony and pleaded for his life. Esau answered the pleas with his club. The wild young man broke both of the man’s arms and took his eyes.

    The old wicked king from the past now looked into the eyes of the prophecy that had been whispered into his ear so many years before.

“So, this is Adams cloak? The magic cloak? The cloak God made for him?” Esau asked incredulously.

The old king nodded his head and said “Yes.”

“And you must be the grandson of Abraham.” the king said through the pain. His horse had died on top of him.

The young man walked out of view for a moment and then came back.

“Yes. I am the son of Isaac who lies on his death pallet as we speak. He is the son of Abraham.” the young man said, finally catching his breath.

“And I am King Nimrod, the mightiest hunt…” the former king was saying.

While the old man was posturing, Esau swung the screaming bodyguard's bronze sword and took the wicked old king’s head in mid sentence. He then turned his attention back to the bodyguard, silencing his

screams with his own bloody sword.

    Esau hid the cloak and ran the full distance home. The prophecy now fulfilled, he was hungry. Esau would give anything for a bowl of his brother’s soup.

THE END