Never Gonna Be Alone

 

Joey saw the familiar driveway several meters before he actually entered the lot. The house was smaller than what he remembered - then again, he was very small back then. He could already smell the cookies in the kitchen, and the subtle scent of perfume...

After parking the car, he walked across the vast lawn that he recalled - the grass  had almost dried up. He could remember the smell of fresh cut grass when his father mowed the lawn, he was a little boy of 4, and he ran across the lawn trying to chase his father and mother.

He found that he couldn't enter the house. Just looking at the door brought so many memories - a few happy ones, and some painful ones as well. He remembered the door crashing, his mother screaming upstairs, his father dragging him across this lawn, away from the house. Away from his mother.

 

He could feel the anguish coming up, but he fought it. He must not show any emotion. He just needed to be happy. And he was, actually. He was happy he was home. But he dreaded what awaited him inside.

 

Before he could open the door, Marise came out of it. Her face burst into a teary smile, and she  pulled him close and hugged him tight. He hugged his old nanny, and she still smelled of mint and sugar. Marise was his mother's best friend, and the one who took care of him while he was at this house. She never ran out of stories, and he could vaguely remember her lulling  him to sleep with her voice, her accent soft and foreign. He wasn't surprised that Marise was here; knowing her, she would never leave his mother, no matter one.

 

Joey kept asking Marise questions, but for someone who was so talkative, Marise could only answer in short sentences, like "Yes", "No", and "I don't really know". He knew what Marise must have felt, because it was exactly what was weighing him down now.

 

He glanced around the house - it was exactly the way it was, in his vague memories. The walls smelled a little of decay, but everything else was the same. The china was still in the same small cupboard by the stairs, the kitchen was still spotless white, the small sofa in the living room was still looking moldy and warm.

 

"She's upstairs, in her room," Marise said, snapping him out of his walk to memory lane. He nodded, smiled at her, and gave her another lingering hug. He silently crept up the stairs, into her mother's bedroom.

 

Her mother's bedroom held many memories for Joey - so much more than he could imagine from this house. He could remember the times he played with his mother in this room, the times his mother would hold him close after his father scolded at him. This room represented all the happy memories he had as a child with his mother. He only lived here for almost six years, then he was taken by his father after that bitter divorce. Somehow, his mother's work and his father's money made it possible for his father to take custody. He never saw his mother. Until now.

 

The door was open, and he had a clear view of his mother as she lay on her bed. She looked as though she was sleeping, her head tilted towards the open window, her mouth slightly open. She looked much older than he anticipated. Most of her hair had gone gray with age, when it used to be a beautiful shade of jet black. Her skin had so many folds, and she looked so pale. But she was still beautiful. She was the most beautiful woman Joey had ever seen.

 

Somehow, she felt him standing by the door way. She slowly opened her eyes and looked at him. Her face lit up as she attempted to smile. One of Joey's fears was that his own mother wouldn't recognize him. He looked so different from his boyish looks before. His face has gone sharp and serious, in contrast with the smooth, round and youthful look he had before. He actually turned into a splitting image of his father - another reason why he feared coming here. He was afraid of reminding her mother of that man that hit her - the man that took her only child away from her. But all those fears melted away when she spoke.

 

"My Joey."

 

All the emotions he held back as he came here - all the tears he held back, all the anguish, hurt and guilt from all the years he could've come here but didn't, all the sorry's and I love you's he missed saying and hearing, went out after hearing his mother's voice. He ran to the side of her bed, like the little boy that he was so many years ago, and hugged his mother as tight as he could. All he could say, as he sobbed at his mother's waist, was "Mama".

 

NEVER GONNA BE ALONE

 

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,

And I'm starting to regret not spending all of it with you.

Now I'm, wondering why, I've kept this bottled inside,

So I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

 

[Chorus]

You're never gonna be alone

From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,

I won't let you fall...

You're never gonna be alone

I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

 

[Verse 2]

And now, as long as I can, I'm holding on with both hands,

'Cause forever I believe that there's nothing I could need but you,

So if I haven't yet, I've gotta let you know...

 

[Chorus]

You're never gonna be alone

From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,

I won't let you fall.

When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.

We're gonna see the world out,

I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

 

[Verse 3]

Oh!

You've gotta live every single day,

Like it's the only one, what if tomorrow never comes?

Don't let it slip away,

Could be our only one, you know it's only just begun.

Every single day,

Maybe our only one, what if tomorrow never comes?

Tomorrow never comes...

 

[Verse 4]

Time, is going by, so much faster than I,

And I'm starting to regret not telling all of this to you.

 

[Chorus]

You're never gonna be alone

From this moment on, if you ever feel like letting go,

I won't let you fall.

When all hope is gone, I know that you can carry on.

We're gonna see the world out,

I'll hold you 'til the hurt is gone.

 

I'm gonna be there always,

I won't be missing one more day,

I'm gonna be there always,

I won't be missing one more day.

 

 

Author's Note

*My playlist was in random, and I just felt a story come on. I was crying while I wrote this. Listen to Nickelback's Never Gonna Be Alone while reading. You'll cry, too, I promise you.*