Back to the Doctor's Appointment

Doctor Doctor
I’m hurting all over
I’m aching all over
What should I do?

I’ve got a pain in my neck
I’ve got a sore in my throat
I’ve got a throb in my head
I’ve got an ache in my muscles
I’ve got a pain in my joints

A running nose
A piercing stomach
A weight in my chest

Should I take some medicine?
Can I have some medicine?
Give me some more please?
Or shall I order a check up?

Hash now
That won’t be necessary

Listen now
That won’t be needed

You’re in right hands now
But be careful now

It could be a brain tumor
It could be a throat cancer
It could be a diabetic attack
It could be an asthma attack
It could be an influenza attack
It could be a stomach ulcer
It could be an intestinal rupture
It could be an arthritis attack

Or kidney disease
Liver disease
Heart disease

Oh my God
I’m going to die now, aren’t I doctor?

Shush now
No need to cry

Stay calm now
No need to panic

You’re in good hands now
No need for a fright

Just sign in the cashier book
Just show us your health plan
How healthy is your bank balance?

We’ll run some tests
We’ll do a thorough exam

Take off your shirt
Pull down your pants
Its time for an exam now

Hmmmm
No pain, No ache
How about here?
How do you feel now?
How about there?
How do you feel now?

Nothing
Then I must be alright now

Nothing
I feel much better now

I’m alright
Can I go now?

No, be still now
We’ll run some more tests

Be calm now
We’ll do some more exams

Take a blood sample
Run a urine sample
Do an x-ray
Take a skin sample

Still nothing?

Then we’ll do a biopsy
Take a DNA sample
Do a CT scan
Take a spinal fluid sample
Do a blood culture

Lets see the results
Lets take a look at your results

Diagnosis
Nil Nil Nil
Nothing found

Good
Then I’m alright now?

Nothing found
But that doesn’t mean a thing

Nothing seen
But that doesn’t rule out a thing

Just sign in the cashier’s book
Just show us your health plan
How healthy is your bank balance?

So what’s my prescription?
What’s my medication?
How’s my survival?

Do your exercises
Eat your vegetables
Drink your fluids
Take your vitamins
Stay off the cholesterol
Get some sleep
Get a hobby
Avoid stress
Talk to your therapist

That’s your prescription

Listen now
And you’ll be alright now

Sort the cashier out on your way out
See you at your next doctor’s appointment

Reviews

[Rain]

LOL..
I love this one. I love the humor written into real life, everyday, life. Great piece. Rain..