Everything Changes

My eyes fluttered open and stared into the sparkling brown eyes of my love. A smile lit up his face as he caressed my cheek with his hand. My usual morning grumpiness faded quickly. He smiled a perfect smile. I smiled back at him. The sunlight glittered through the window lighting up his face.

“Good morning beautiful.” He said staring into my eyes. My heart started to beat faster.

“Well, you’re up early.” I told him sitting up and wrapping a blanket around myself. After all Erin and I had been through, I was still a very modest girl. For a minute I sat there and took in the room. It seemed like we weren’t even here. He had cleaned up the room before I had awoken.

“Well, we should start getting ready.” He kissed my forehead and got off the bed. All he wore was his favorite white tank top and boxers. It was normal morning attire. I got up too and looked for my clothes. Then, I remembered that I had come here in a dress with no suitcase or extra clothes.

“Honey, where’s my clothes?” I asked him. He poked his head out of the bathroom doorway with a toothbrush in his mouth, and pointed to the dresser behind me. My suitcase sat on top of it. I placed my hand on my forehead and sighed. Sometimes I just don’t think.

I walked over to the dresser and snatched up my suitcase. It felt heavier than I remembered. I set it on the floor and unzipped it slowly. My dress was folded neatly on top. A flashback of last night ran through my mind. This dress will forever be my favorite. I gently picked it up, smiled, and placed in on the dresser.  All of the clothes I had packed for the tour were in there. But I felt like something had been moved or messed with. I dug through my clothes with one hand, the other was holding a blanket that was covering myself. My hand hit the bottom and I frowned still feeling like something was wrong. I pushed it to the back of my mind and threw the clothes that I wanted out of the suitcase. They landed in a small pile next to the bed. The doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it.” Erin said passing by me. He closed the door behind himself when he left. I heard the door open and muffled voices. The door had blocked out their conversation that seemed to be getting very intense. The voices got louder, but I still couldn’t make out what they were saying. It didn’t really bother me because I was happy. We had a great night and I thought nothing could ruin it. I put on my undergarments and slipped on a simple black t-shirt. My sense of style wasn’t very complex just jeans, a t-shirt, and sneakers. I had pulled up my pants and buttoned them before I realised that the room had gone silent. Fear clouded my mind for a minute.

“Erin?” I called out the bathroom doorway. Silence answered my call. “Erin, honey? Are you there?” I called again my voice cracking at the end. Something smashed in the kitchen and the fear made itself known as I bit back my tears. I crept out of the bathroom and slowly opened the door. The door only showed out to the dining table. My shaking hands opened the door farther.

“Erin?” I whispered. The door squeaked breaking the silence and I jumped in the air in surprize. I felt like a scared kid. Silence took hold once again as I looked out. Then I saw him. My heart started to beat dangerously fast. He was bent over the kitchen counter with his head in his hands. My hand instantly went to my mouth as I frowned underneath. He shook his head, but did not look at me. I instantly thought about all the bad things that could have happened. Fear paralyzed me. Someone was hurt or maybe the tour was canceled. I used up all my bravery and walked over to Erin. My hand grabbed his shoulder. He still didn’t look up. I said his name louder.

“Why does this have to happen to us?” Erin shook his head.

“What do you mean? What happened?” I asked him hoping for an answer. He stood up straight and turned to face me. His face flashed pain, sorrow, and anger before going completely blank and emotionless.

“We have to leave.” He told me. Something forced me to take a step away from him. A dangerous aura radiated off Erin. This wasn’t the normal him.

“What are you talking about?” My voice became no more than a whisper. His beautiful brown eyes stared off at something I couldn’t dream of seeing.

“Pack your stuff.” He grabbed my wrist dragged me toward the bedroom. My feet started to catch on the floor. The sudden change in Erin struck me somewhere. I yanked my wrist out of his hand and stared at him, mouth wide open in disgust and shock.

“What are you talking about. Erin, what’s wrong with you?” My voice raised so I was yelling at him. Anger ran through his face followed by pain. He stared past me.

“All you need to know is that we need to leave, now.” His hands grabbed my shoulders and he stared into my eyes. I searched his face for the answer I was desperate for. But I found none. The part of me that wanted so badly too just run away was pushed out. I loved him too much.

“Fine.” My hand grabbed his and took it off my shoulder. The door was still open and I dashed in, grabbed my suitcase, and ran back out to Erin. He was running around the room, putting stuff away and cleaning up whatever he had smashed. This whole thing seemed to become dangerous. It was like our lives were in danger. He dashed over to the door, opened it, and peered out.

“Millie, come on, quickly.” Erin waved his hand to hurry up. I walked to him with my suitcase dragging behind me. He put his sunglasses on the top of his head.

“Erin, please tell me what’s happening.” I pleaded him. His mouth was open ready tell me, but he shook his head and opened the door. My legs dared me to stay still. While he walked slowly out of the room, I stood there staring at him.

“Come on!” Erin whispered urgently to me. I wanted so badly to follow him. A miniature battle had been going on in my head this whole time. My thoughts were wild and confused.

“I don’t know.” I told him. He turned to face me.

“Honey, I can explain what’s going on when we make it to the bus. I know this is crazy and I don’t even know what’s really going on. Just trust me on this. I love you and I really don’t want to lose you.” What he had said confused me even more. I shook my head and stared at him. He sighed and grabbed my hand. We walked quickly out of the room and down the hall. Just before we reached the staircase he stopped and pulled on his hat and sunglasses. It seemed like he was hiding from something. When we started to walk down the stairs and I saw why. The lights blinded me, flashing on and off. A wave of voices and clicking engulfed us. I couldn’t see anything. Someone called out my name several times. I didn’t know who it was. Erin kept guiding me blindly through the crowd.

“What is it like to know you were a part of a scandal?” I opened my eyes and saw a microphone in my face. It wasn’t the only one though. I looked around at the people who surrounded us. They were reporters.

“Do you know who put him up to this?” A young, eager looking girl stepped in front of me. I stopped, but Erin kept tugging my hand.

“Who?” I asked her looking up at Erin. He bit his lip and stared at the front doors only a few meters away. A shocked murmur went through the mob of reporters.

“How does it feel to have been lied to by someone you loved?” The girl asked me. Everything seemed to have stopped as I stared at Erin. He had betrayed me somehow and I was the only one who didn’t know.

“Millie, honey, we can talk about this when we get to the bus.” His hand gripped mine harder. I pushed the thought to the back of my mind and rushed after him as we ran out the door. The bus was right outside. It’s red and white designs glinting off the sun and camera flashes. As we approached it the door opened and Zeke stood just inside. His face a image of worry.

“Guys, hurry.” He yelled out to us. I quickened my pace and dashed up the stairs onto the bus. Erin followed me and closed the doors himself. The bus driver instantly started the bus and drove out and away from the hotel. I dropped down on the couch trying to catch my breath, Erin right beside me. All I could focus on was how fast my heart was beating.

“Zeke, where’s Brice?” I looked over and saw Zeke standing in front of Erin. He was also out of breath and seemed scared.

“They went out for breakfast. We are going to get them now.” Zeke sat down on the couch across from us and ran his fingers through his hair. They were silent.

“Erin, I need to know what the hell is going on.” I sat up and stared into Erin’s eyes. He stared back at me. I could tell he didn’t want to tell me. The bus shades were drawn and the only light came from the small ones on the ceiling, but even in the dimness I knew he was hiding something. Erin said nothing and stared down at his hands that were unusually shaky. I then turned to Zeke and pleaded him with my eyes. He sighed and looked at Erin for approval. Erin gave no sign that he wanted to be a part in telling me what was going on.

“I don’t know how to explain this...” Zeke began, but stopped as Erin got up and went to the back to sit down. For some reason I felt like I should be angry at him. I put my hands down on the seat as the bus lurched forward and to a sudden stop. The door creaked open and the bus shook as Brice and Ben rushed on. They quickly walked through the curtain and sat down on the couch, one on each side of me. Ben bent over and put his head in his lap. His dreads covered the sides of his face so I couldn’t see his expression. The bus started to move again as we drove to who knows where. I stared around the bus looking at each person desperate to know what was going on. Brice sighed angrily and looked up at Zeke. Zeke nodded his head toward the back and Brice got up. The band seemed to have their own language and I knew it would always be a secret to me. He walked to the back and I heard him sit next to Erin. They began a conversation which I couldn’t make out even though the bus was dead silent. I felt overwhelmed and confused about everything.

“I really need a beer.” Ben stood up, I still couldn’t see his face, and walked to the fridge. He picked the first thing he saw and sat back down across from me. His face was blank, emotionless. Ben popped the top and took a long drink from it.

“Please tell me what’s going on.” I stared up at Zeke. He looked at me and bit his lip. Ben shook his head and stared at Zeke angrily.

“Just tell her already. She deserves to know. This affects her more than it does to us.” He looked away and sighed, frustrated. Zeke rubbed the back of his neck and took a deep breath.

“Um... I really don’t want to tell you this.” He knew that whatever he said was going to hurt me. Zeke sounded guilty. Ben groaned.

“If you won’t tell her I will.” He said obviously annoyed by Zekes hesitation.

“But...” Zeke continued. My fingers were tapping impatiently against the fake leather seat.

“Oh for heavens sake, Zeke! Erin cheated on you.” Ben half yelled. The bus went silent. Brice stopped talking to Erin in the back.

“What?!” I asked again, certain I had heard it wrong.

“While you were gone visiting Amber, Erin cheated on you.” He repeated. My fingers dug into the seat. I stopped breathing and started concentrating on what Ben said.

“He...he.” I couldn’t finish my sentence. My body was shaking. I covered my face with my hands and felt it twist in agony, but I held in my tears for the moment. I was well known to never, ever cry. At least not in front of anyone. My mind felt like burning acid had been poured all over it. The ground started to quake beneath my feet.

“Millie, I’m sorry.” Zeke placed a hand on my shoulder. It too felt like acid.

“Get your hands off me.” I growled at him. He took a quick step back. I uncovered my face and glared at him. By the way he looked at me I could tell I looked horrible. The hatred I felt for all of them was growing by the second. He betrayed me. It was only Erin who hurt me. I stopped and frowned for a moment. I felt bad for being angry at the others. Only Erin is the enemy. But they all knew, they all knew this had happened. Everything clicked in my brain when I thought about what had happened earlier. The reporters, they knew also. Everybody knew, except me. Everyone hid this from me. How could I be so blind. I trusted him and I never really trusted any guy until I met Erin. I knew I should have never trusted him. He was just like the rest of them, selfish, lying, b******s, who don’t give a damn about who they throw away.

“Please calm down. I’m sorry...”

“Shut your f*****g mouth.” I screamed at Zeke. My hands were in fists and held tightly at my sides. I stood up, walked over to the curtain, and stopped. Brice was standing by the beds, blocking my view of the filthy, cheating, liar, who sat in the back.

“Erin feels very bad about it. Just listen to him... it wasn’t his fault. He was drunk.” Brice held out his hands.

“He was drunk! Well, tell that f*****g scumbag to go to hell! I’m done! I’m f*****g done with this s**t! I’m not going to listen to a single thing he says. He promised not to drink! He broke every promise he ever made me! Nothing he says can fix this.” My arms were flailing around wildly as I screamed at him. They all looked at me like I was the monster. I glared at each one of them. Everything was silent and it almost make me break down. I instead pushed curtain aside and went to the front.

“Do you want to stop?” Earl said before I spoke. He had heard everything.

“Yes, thank you.” I sounded surprisingly calm. My head started throbbing and I almost turned around to get some aspirin from the cupboards. Then I realized that I never wanted to see their faces again. Too many times I've been thrown aside like trash. I knew that it was going to happen sooner or later. It always happens. After everything I'd been through with him. It was over, just like that.