Remind me who I am

I guess I should write this down- what happened to me.

It all began when I was a little child. Times were harsh and people started dying of starvation, nothing unusual in these parts.

That was the year I first saw him, the man in black.

Now I guess you could say I was a special child, when I was born, I was silent. Only a faint heartbeat showed that I was alive. I was nursed back to life by my mother. My father? Never met him, he died before I was born. A simple cold took him.

That year, and the year after and the year after that, I continued to see the man shrouded in darkness. Every time someone died he appeared. When I got older, I began to see him as a member of the opposite sex, although I can't really describe what he looks like. Foolish, I know.

The year I turned 17, the year of my engagement to the rich merchant and the year my mother died. It was unsurprisingly the turning point of my very long life.

Due to the arrival of the rich merchant, our town prospered and people no longer died of hunger and simple colds. Little by little the shadow man appeared less and less, until I no longer saw him. When I turned 16, the merchant began to court me and I pushed the shadow man into the darkness of my soul. Soon we were engaged to be married, our wedding date was next summer. For some reason, I couldn't shake off the feeling of depravity. A week before my birthday I found out why.

It's been a couple of months since the merchant proposed, we haven't seen each other in week due to his work and I wanted to pay him a visit. I don't know whether I would still walk through that door if I knew what would happen after and that makes me feel hideous inside. I walked in on my fiancée beating my mother to death. Enraged, I took something heavy, I don't recall what, my memories of this moment are somewhat vague. Struck him on the head and bang, fiancée dead.

Later on that day, my mother lay in my arms, breathing her last gasping for her last breaths of air. Then, the most wondrous and heartbreaking thing happened. I saw her soul. It was so, so beautiful and oh so anguished. I could tell she didn't want to leave me. Suddenly, I felt a foreign presence behind my back, it was him. The shadow man. And in that short moment of selfishness, in that split second of darkness. I made a decision.

"Take me, take me with you instead. Spare my mother, I beg you." As I begged him, I turned to look in the direction of his face. I will never forget, the face and the expression that I saw. That was the first time I saw his face and the last time I will see him. This is the last memory I have, I guess you could say, as a human. 

Waking up, not knowing how or when I went to sleep. I see my mother's face hovering above me, making all of this seem like a very bad dream. Unfortunately, when I sit up, I see bruises all over her body. Panic hits me. 

I run around our little house packing everything essential. In a couple of minutes, I was dragging my mother away from the house and the village.

For years we were running. We were running so long, I lost track of where we were. Finally, satisfied, We settled down in a village. That when I noticed. I haven't aged a day, while my mother was growing older and weaker. For a year we stayed in that village, where my mother died a second time. Her soul was different than I remembered. It was still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, but it wasn't anguished, it was just a little bit sad and content, it glowed a happy content colour.

The strangest thing happened. The soul grew and elongated, forming into a scythe. I was confused, until I remembered the only book my family had, the book I treasured and left behind in that village. It spoke of death given a form. It spoke about Death appearing for everyone when they died. Death carried a scythe to collect the souls and was shrouded in black. For years that book fascinated me, because it reminded me of the shadow man. However, I never made a connection, because I've never seen him collect the souls. I always ran away upset. 

Only now I realised with who I made a deal. That deal I made out of desperation and the buried feelings for him.

So it seems like I'll have to collect souls now. Maybe, one day, I might meet him in my travels.

It's been so long, I can't even recall when I was born. I vaguely recall it was sometime in winter.
Because my memories are starting to dim, I decided to write down what happened to me. Just in case. Because I should never forget. I should never forget, lest I lose myself.

Author's Note

I enjoy abusing the enter button, yes I know and I'm sorry.
I also used some words that were unfamiliar to me, so please tell me if they stand out.
Not sure If that's a good ending. Any suggestions on improvements?
Side note: I dislike using names, because I can never come up with good ones.

Reviews

[Karen Arizona]

Remind me who I am -A Story by Raven's Fall is an interesting story to read. To me, this story is more than a story, it's a journey looking for answers, as we all are apt to do in this life. You are a creative writer, Raven's Fall, and I liked reading your story. Thank you for sharing.

[Coyote Poetry]

A very entertaining tale. Death never lose.
"Because I should never forget. I should never forget, lest I lose myself."
I like the description of the man in man and how you led to the strong ending above. Native Americans believe. If you can turn quick enough. Death is waiting on your right shoulder and can be seen. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Willard Wells]

I really liked it. A bit dark but I often write from a dark place and it changes my views greatly. Not sure of your drive behind this story, but very nice.

[Raven's Fall]

I came up with the character first (although I never described how she looks), the story just kinda formed itself around her.
Most of my stories end up with a dark tone in them
And thank you