I don't know why, but I've been thinking about him a lot this weekend and today. I wish he'd just go away. But one day I know I'll pity him, instead of he pitying me.
ageless adonis bent back in arcs of light eyes the hymns of sky punched autumn this is why i fell for you your smile shimmered with all the white ice of winter perhaps, this was your warning, for me to not draw nearer i did not heed that advice - you fooled me with your silver tongued speeches and rhetoric told me of how you loved me, but it was all a lie triangulating my heart
dreams that could never come to be; i trusted that you were my forever, but you decided to cut me on that - now it's hard for me to trust in anything especially your name, is this what you mean to do from the start? you were deceitful, adonis, and insincere a betrayer and a jerk you stole every petal of my virginity killing every flower of my self worth in your palm when you cut me loose by cheating on me, but i know that what goes around comes around and one day it will be me pitying the dying black flower as the lilies of me bloom and bloom in the fragrance of azure sky. - linda m. crate
Very nice poem throughout but I really really REALLY enjoyed the beginning of the poem,
"ageless adonis
bent back
in arcs of light
eyes the hymns of sky
punched autumn
this is why i fell for you"
I really like this style of, given the descriptions of this love then explaining the effect on the speaker. The alliteration helps with the rhythm of the poem as well.
My only question is, what is the purpose of the links? What purpose do they serve that your words don't get across?
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I'm not sure why the links are there, I did not put them there myself.
Thank you, I'm really .. read moreI'm not sure why the links are there, I did not put them there myself.
Thank you, I'm really glad that you enjoyed my poem, and I'm appreciative of your input.
People will do anything to gain something at the expense of the pain and hurt of others and it will be fleeting and temporary instead of the permanent ...You have penned a great poem...:).........
Very nice poem throughout but I really really REALLY enjoyed the beginning of the poem,
"ageless adonis
bent back
in arcs of light
eyes the hymns of sky
punched autumn
this is why i fell for you"
I really like this style of, given the descriptions of this love then explaining the effect on the speaker. The alliteration helps with the rhythm of the poem as well.
My only question is, what is the purpose of the links? What purpose do they serve that your words don't get across?
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
I'm not sure why the links are there, I did not put them there myself.
Thank you, I'm really .. read moreI'm not sure why the links are there, I did not put them there myself.
Thank you, I'm really glad that you enjoyed my poem, and I'm appreciative of your input.
You exposed the deception and betrayal and stealing of virginity quite perfectly in this piece.
The adonis will be pitied upon by one day.
I will be happy when the rogue in disguise will be given a good lesson.
Wish you good luck!
Posted 11 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
11 Years Ago
Thank you. He hurt me quite badly, but I wanted to make it eloquent - more than just "you screwed me.. read moreThank you. He hurt me quite badly, but I wanted to make it eloquent - more than just "you screwed me over, you suck!". I'm really glad that you enjoyed it, and thank you.
11 Years Ago
You are most welcome,dear friend.
I understood the depth of your pain and suffering caused by.. read moreYou are most welcome,dear friend.
I understood the depth of your pain and suffering caused by the rogue.
It is really the most appropriate way to treat people like him.
11 Years Ago
Indeed. Sad thing is, he masquerades as a moral upright man. Ah well, one day God will settle the sc.. read moreIndeed. Sad thing is, he masquerades as a moral upright man. Ah well, one day God will settle the score with him. :)
11 Years Ago
He might thought himself very clever.But the cunning rogue will surely be punished one day which may.. read moreHe might thought himself very clever.But the cunning rogue will surely be punished one day which may take place even in this world in front of your eyes.Have patience dear friend.
11 Years Ago
Oh, no worries! I know he will not get away with this. But sometimes I just have to get these emotio.. read moreOh, no worries! I know he will not get away with this. But sometimes I just have to get these emotions out of me before they choke the life out of me.
I am a two time push cart nominee with a passion for writing. My poetry, short stories, articles, and reviews have been published in a myriad of magazines including those in print and online. more..