[untitled]

where do i stand
when i know
that the ground is about to fall away
from beneath my feet
who will be there to catch me
when the one that i depend on
is the one who pushes me
over the edge

and when i'm broken where i fall
immobile and quiet
what will become of me
the air is cold
my life a frosty mist
that covers my being
chilling me to my core

should i run
until i see the end of the earth
and plunge into the unknown
leaving behind
all i thought was real

he moves and i shudder
will he break me again
until the pieces rot away
in the afterthought
of what i should have done

Reviews

[Michael X]

the air is cold
my life a frosty mist
that covers my being
chilling me to my core "

I think your stanzas are awsome, I especially loved the above..
the metaphorical concept and the nature of this writing speaks in
contemplative motive, the meaning itself is powerful and darker
Great writing.

[Jasper]

The way the windows on my computer were set up when I first looked at your poem, I could only see the first stanza and I though it was just terrific, then I scrolled down and realized there was more...lol. For me though, I like the first stanza so much that the rest almost becomes unnecessary...if that makes sense. Not that I dont like the whole work, and if you have something to say, then you say it no matter what...its just that I really, really like the first verse and like to contemplate on what you have said there without having to read more. Hope that makes sense?!?!?