Raising a Child with Highly Functioning Autism

Across my bedroom/living room floor a train is weaved around a huge castle. My 11 year 

old son is deeply engrossed in it and every time I attempt to move it he becomes angry and 

upset. Everything needs to be a certain way and if that way is disturbed my son unleashes his 

anger. Growing up I never thought much about people with autism. I also pictured them 

someone who could not speak or react to their surroundings. I never understood that their 

are other forms of autism. When my son was born he was perfect. He seemed to function 

well until he turned three years old. Then I began notice that things were not completely 

normal. He barely slept and in pre-school didn't know how to interact with other children. He 

would go off into his own little world and no matter how many times the other kids reached 

out to him he ignored them. At home things had to be lined up in a certain pattern and when 

it came to facial expressions he just couldn't read them. He didn't know how to react if 

someone was crying or hurt. He didn't know how to react if he was being bullied. Instead he 

would keep on reaching out to the one who was bullying him. It was then that I knew that I 

needed professional help so I reached out to an agency who worked with children with 

behavioral issues and children who were also autistic. A mobile therapist came and worked 

with my son and informed me that he definitely had issues. She noticed that he invaded 

personal space,  he didn't understand when no one wanted to play with him and that his 

motor skills were behind the other children's. I immediately blamed myself for his diagnosis. 

I looked back to the past and realized that I too had the same issues growing up. I didn't 

recognize facial expressions and kept approaching kids who didn't want to play with me. I 

invaded personal space and would often act out. I was now seeing the same behaviors with 

my son. As he got older he began to unleash his anger upon me. I was stunned the first time 

he hit me in the face with a toy. I was stunned the first time he  punched me in the stomach, 

then came the kicking and the biting. I tried the time-outs but they didn't work. I tried to 

make eye contact with him to find out why he was acting out this way but he refused to give 

me an answer. As I struggled to figure out how to discipline him I was soon taught by the 

mobile therapist how to handle those behaviors. As I was being taught I have to admit I felt 

like I was a bad mother. I asked myself if I had screwed up somewhere along the line? Why 

was my son acting out towards me but no one else? I was told that what I experiencing was 

completely normal. He was challenging me and I had to be consistent and strong. When it 

came to preschool I had to make the unfortunate choice of holding him back a year due to his 

lack of motor skills. I had to send him to occupational therapy and speech therapy for a whole 

summer before he was finally released. I felt so bad looking down at his little face and seeing 

the disappointment he felt at watching his friends move ahead while he had to repeat the 

year. However, it proved to be a good decision. As my son continued to grow up I watched as 

the mobile therapist continued to work with him on recognizing facial features and how to 

express empathy. I watched as she taught him how to interact with others and listened as she 

taught me how to discipline him. The biggest issues we worked on was understanding 

empathy. He couldn't understand when someone was sad or upset. He didn't know how to 

react if he made someone cry. When we went to a store he would run away from me and 

hide. I can still remember the panic I felt when I couldn't find him and when I did he 

unleashed his anger upon me. My challenges with my son would only grow when he was 

diagnosed with having ADHD. It explained why he couldn't sit still or or focus. He was then 

diagnosed as having a mood disorder. That was the hardest thing for me for being bi-polar 

myself I began to wonder if I had somehow passed it on to my son. Was it heredity? I knew 

nothing of my ex's background so I had no idea what mental illness he may have. As I 

grappled with the current situation  I then had to deal with my son making reckless decisions 

such as running out into the street, climbing all over the car, unfastening his seatbelt while 

we were driving down the road and running out into crowds. I began to feel like I was at my 

wits end. My son was immediately sent to a child psychologist who began medicating him. I 

faced a lot of criticism from other mothers who felt that I was making the wrong choice in 

medicating my child but what other choice did I have? I hated the idea of medicating my child 

but felt that I had no other option. What started out as a few pills would soon become six 

different pills. Ones to help with his ADHD, others with his mood swings and others to help 

him sleep at night. I look down at the pills and wonder if there will ever be a day when he 

won't have to take so many. Sometimes the medication works other times it doesn't. We 

have our good days where he is well behaved and we have our bad days when he is tearing 

the place apart and acting out. We have tried a variety of medications and I have faced 

different reactions. Some have had no effect at all but others have had bad effects. One 

medication filled my son with anger. It was the summer and my son's anger became so bad 

that I was physically attacked by my seven year old. After getting him to finally calm down I 

shut myself in the bathroom and began to cry. How could this be happening I asked myself? 

How could my precious little boy be acting out so violently? I finally realized it was indeed 

the medication and insisted that his doctor switch him to a different medication that made 

him more mellow. The medication worked for a brief while but then we were switched to 

another. While I was taking him to the child psychologist it was suggested that I perhaps get 

him tested for autism. It was also suggested by the mobile therapist who noticed that he had 

characteristics of a child with autism.  I was sent to three different agencies who ran a battery 

of tests on my son. The first one which was located at a college campus came back that he 

was fine. However, his psychologist was still convinced that something wasn't right so he 

sent me to two other ones. Those two agencies ran a battery of tests and the results came 

back that he has highly functioning autism. Having been unaware of what highly functioning 

is is doctor explained to me that highly functioning autism means the child can speak, read, 

write, eat, get dressed by themselves and handle basic life skills without help.They can grow 

up to live independently like anyone else. However, children with highly functioning autism 

have a hard time socializing with others. They have a harder time making friends and reading 

social cues. They have trouble making eye contact with others. When it comes to school some 

like my son do very well while children may have difficulty. Children can have trouble 

controlling impulses. As I received these answers I felt a sense of relief that finally I was 

understanding what my son was going through. Our troubles, however, are far from over. 

Though my son was eventually released from the care of the mobile therapist I still ran into 

difficulties. Though she remained confident that I as his mother could handle it I still deal 

with the meltdowns, the anger, the invading of personal space and the defiance. I still deal 

with the impulsiveness and the refusal to listen. I often face a child who is still angry when 

he doesn't get his way. A child who can be difficult one moment but loving the next. It is 

often a challenge to deal with a child who insists that things be a certain way or that I make a 

certain meal or he won't eat. If I disrupt his pattern he becomes frustrated. However, I 

remain determined to help him through it. We do art therapy every other day and I have 

taught him how to keep a journal. Though there is no cure for autism I know he will live his 

life to the fullest  and no matter what obstacles may in lay in his path he will overcome them.