Running - Draft - Ch 1

image credit: "Belt Over the Abyss" by 4579 CC BY-NC-ND 3.0 http://4579.deviantart.com/art/Belt-Over-the-Abyss-78632961

2:14 AM - November 2

It's starting to snow. S**t! I’m shaking and I can barely see. I don't need this. Not now. Not one more thing.

All this I thought while driving, fast but carefully, north on 1-17. At least, as carefully as I could with what little sleep I was surviving on. The caffeine buzz was wearing off, slowly and my eyesight was getting hazy. Maybe it was the snow. I persevered, nonetheless. What else could I do?

It was dark. The light from the street lamps illuminated the oncoming snowflakes. Still, it was not enough to make the night brighter, or any less lonely. Even at this hour, it was odd how few cars there were. 

Unnatural is what came to mind. I didn't know what I was thinking. I just knew I had to leave as fast as I could. 

Leave that town, leave the state. Just get away.

Get away from her.

5:34 PM - October 17

"..."

"No, I'm heading home now." I couldn't make out anything Jim was saying. S****y phone. I can do everything with it but make a simple phone call.

"Ok-Where-the-gonna-b-"

"Hey, I'm going to hang up. Just talk to me when I get home."

"Where is-be-"

"Call me later. BYE!" I hung up and tossed the phone on the passenger seat. Another uneventful day and this dumbass has to call at the exact same time I walk through the only underground parking garage in town. With that thought, I chuckled to myself, started the car and headed home.

Home. My cramped apartment in this dull, dreary, dead town. I didn't mind seeing the same faces, passing the same buildings. I didn't mind that I knew I wasn't goig to get that raise this year. I don't even think I deserved it. If there was an olympic event for complacency, I would win the bronze medal, at best. The other medalist would still be from this town.

But that was ok. I wasn't complaining, nor was I trying to impress anyone. I pulled my couch and my desk off the curb. The former comfy, the latter sturdy. I casually admired with pride, almost, those facts as I passed them on my way to the kitchen. Tonight's dinner? Leftover chili and my weekly bottle of beer. My micro-brewed treat for finishing another week. 

I had this little routine down pat: I press the power button on the remote that sits on the coffee table. I round the coffee table and plop in my usual spot on the couch just as my CRT flickers on. The momentum of my legs flings them up to rest on said table and the tops of my toes clear my line of sight as whatever mind-numbing TV show fades into oversaturated, scan-lined glory.

Simple? Yes. Perfect? To me, yes.

As I let the thoughts and stress and worries of the work week melt, like the cheese topping my chili, I hear a distinctive knock:

Bam Bam tap-tap-tap

Jim. I told him to call.

I muted the TV and opened the door. Jim stood tall, and always wore some sort of bright flanel red shirt. He looked different, that day. "Come in, man."

"I can't stay, I just wanted to know if I left a box here." I he had a anxiety about him. I could he was nervous but trying to hide it.

"No, you didn't leave anything here. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, I just...nevermind. Everythings good." He straightened up when he said it. But he spaced off for just a bit. When he did, I saw a brief look on his face that I'd never seen on him before. It was almost like terror.

He must have seen the concerned look my face. He looked away and abruptly made his way to the door.

"Look," he turned before he exited. "I gotta leaave town for a few days. Don't worry about me if you don't hear from me. I'll be back soon."

And he was gone before I could say anything else. It was so unlike him. To act so nervous;to keep things so secretive. What kind of trouble could he have gotten into?

Jim. The straight shooter, the goody-two-shoes I've known since high school.

What happened, man?

3:05 AM - November 2

I can't do it. I'm nodding off and swerved about 20 miles ago. I gotta stop somewhere. Is it safe? Is it worth the risk? What did it matter? I'm a goner. I know that much. It was only a matter of time. Maybe it was just the lack of sleep talking. I don't know.

I saw a truck stop gas station sign up ahead. I took the exit and parked. With the engine off, I could hear my breathing. As the cab cooled, I could see the fog from my breath. It seemed to take so much effort to do anything else.

Anything else but breath.

Why am I so weak? I haven't eaten in almost a day, but I've gone longer. I'll eat.

I stepped out and stretched. F**k! it was cold. In the chaotic rush I was in, I failed to grab a jacket or any other change of clothes for that matter. I had no plans. I had no direction. I just ran. I was still running.

Hunched over, with my hands tightly in my pockets, I made my way around the aisles. The hunger seemed to hit me at once. I was so overwhelmed.

Meat. Meat and Gatorade. Meat gatorade, and carbs. Caffeine. I grabbed handfuls here and there of jerky, candy bars, energy drinks, and snack cakes. I carried it all with two hands to the counter.

The cashier, a fat, maternal-looking older woman, eyed me up and down and said "You doin' okay, hun?"

"Yeah. Tired. Hungry." I was almost out of breath. She did it again. That look. Was she judging my choice of food?

I looked down and saw what she was looking at: my right was covered in blood, both fresh and crusted over. I saw the trial I dripped behind me and the enormous stain I left in my jeans.

I panicked. I hastily picked up as much of the snacks as I could and ran out the door. I pulled out with a screech. I didn't even turn my lights on, I just fled.

Blood. Why am I bleeding?

Author's Note

First draft, off-the-cuff. I do have an idea for the arc and more chapters lined up. I may change the POV.
As it is, let me know about inconsistencies, questions, grammar. Also tell me about my dialogue: believable? realistic? repetitive?

Reviews

[Manda]

Yes, believable dialogue, and easy to understand the amount of suspicion. I was captivated from beginning to end with lines like "...clear my line of sight as whatever mind-numbing TV show fades into oversaturated, scan-lined glory." The tension was strong, the vocabulary articulate, and the character intriguing. I am anxious to see how he handles the amount of tension and events to come. Bravo.