I Was Happy

A Story by Rasha Lama

Some stranger on the street once asked me, "Why are you so happy?"

I replied, "Well the clouds are out and the sun is shining"

The next day, the stranger asked, "Do you always have something to smile about?"

I responded, "Yes of course!"

One cold morning, the clouds were grey and swarmed the sky. Rain fell to the ground like they belonged there. The stranger asked, "When were you the happiest in life?"

I looked blankly back at him. I am happy everyday, surely he knows that. What a silly question to ask me. I thought of my simple answer. As I opened my mouth to tell him, I hesitated. When was the last time I was truly happy?

Sure I was happy when my friend told a joke and made me laugh. It took me half an hour to calm down. I was also happy when I listened to an old song that brought back many memories. I couldn't stop dancing around my room. I was also happy when I saw my best friend after 5 years. We talked and caught up on our lives. But during those moments, I was just happy. Happy during the few minutes life played out in a way I liked. During those times, I laughed and smiled with happiness, but I also thought of what I should say next. I danced and listened to tunes that made my heart jump, but I still thought of what I was going to do when it was over. I was happy in those times, but that happiness wasn't the kind the stranger talked about. I knew what he meant. I felt that happiness once before.

I was happy and excited. I sat on the grass while looking at the clouds I always loved. You were beside me playing a tune on your guitar and telling me about your day. You stopped and looked at me, trying to find the words to describe your thoughts. I looked back at you and kissed you. We sat for hours admiring the stars in our eyes and the marks on our skin. I was happy.

We got up and walked through fields of flowers. All I could think about was how pretty the river looked reflected off your eyes. I picked daisies and dandelions and held on to them. You slowed down and held me like I was your flower. We stood under the clouds and the hidden stars. You were all I could see and all I could taste. I fell in love with the love you gave. I fell in love with the boy of dreams. I was happy.

We walked through the trails and I knew I never felt this before, this huge urge of escaping and fleeing to a place unknown with you. All I could do was skip through the trees and braid flowers in my hair as you watched and smiled. Your dandelion was floating away. I felt everything I was supposed to feel in the few hours I was there with you. I only thought of you and me hidden between plants and trails. I was happy. But this happiness stained my thoughts. I soon found out that this was the real happiness; the happiness everyone tries to snatch. This is my happiness. I was happy.

The stranger still looked at me, waiting for an answer. I turned towards him and said,

"There are many treasures and smiles hidden in everyday encounters. But I am actually happy when I'm lost, not looking for happiness or anything else. Looking for nothing and following my feet. I was the happiest when I found my true self with the boy I love between the life I adore."