I'm sorry, Karen, perhaps its me, but there are several disconnects in this. It lacks rythm or cadence of any kind. I don't necessarily think it should rhyme, but the thoughts should flow. It's difficult to read and the thought patterns are not at all continuous. If the disconsonance is what you were trying for, then congratulations. I'm just too old, I guess to appreciate it.
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Excuse me for lumping all you pieces into a single review.
I like
short and sweet
the lay out
and for the most part they all flow rather nicely
keep up the good work
Nice poem. Short, Sweet and to the point. The first stanza flowed very well throughout the lines. But the 2nd stanza alotta words didnt fit in and it really obstructed the flow. The last line on the 2nd stanza i didnt really agree with. Either way the emotion and feeling is present. And that is all a poem needs for it to be considered a poem. Keep writing.
I'm sorry, Karen, perhaps its me, but there are several disconnects in this. It lacks rythm or cadence of any kind. I don't necessarily think it should rhyme, but the thoughts should flow. It's difficult to read and the thought patterns are not at all continuous. If the disconsonance is what you were trying for, then congratulations. I'm just too old, I guess to appreciate it.
I'm simple,cool and amicable.I read literally pieces,particularly in poetry,also writing when I'm on the mode. I love to sing and dance.Love and pop genre are my favorite music.I'm fond in garde.. more..