Let me Live

To love is to live!

Let me live...
hearing every love song
you render for me.

Let me live...
in every emotion
I feel for you.

Let me live...
in tears of joy
by loving me eternally

Let me live...
By this love
I have for you.

Let me live...
around the clouds,
reaching dreams in life.

Let me live...
your hands in my hands
while kissing me passionately.

And let me live...
by your sweet smile
As I always smile at you.

Reviews

[Vanessa Whiteley]

As it stands this is a nice poem but I think it could be so much richer. While I like the repetition in this poem and the triplets and short lines work well, I think it would be even stronger if it was a little shorter. Perhaps five stanzas - less being more. For example

Let me live...
in every emotion
I feel for you.

And

Let me live...
By this love
I have for you.

Are very similar in what they express. Moreover, the concrete detail you give the poem in being able to hear every love song is nice. Perhaps if you were to play with the senses a little more the sight, sound, taste, touch, and scent, associated with the loved one. For example, your hand in mine would be nice if it was to focus on that sense of touch. Of course these are just my ideas to take or leave as you so choose.

[E. M. Murren]

This is a really well structured fine work. It is gracefully written and nicely worded. Well done!! Cheers.

[Larissa G.]

I agree with Vanessa in that while it's good, it's also the sort of poem that we all write or think out in our heads. Make it stand out with some more ideas that you think up as you stroll down a street. My best thoughts come when I'm in the right mood and the right setting. Give it time and patience, and a lot of work, and you'll see what I mean. :)

[Vanessa P]

A nice piece expressing the feelings of being in love. Simple but elegant on its own sense. I can relate to the idea that we feel move alive when we are loving someone whole heartedly and he/she loves us back the same.

[None]

I would not change this sweet creation one bit! Beauty and love are falling like stars from this precious poem of yours. I get a happy and contented feeling from reading your words.

[-Adam-]

Simply beautiful. I love reading your work.They touch the point in a direct emotion and I fell that is where they get there power. Great work keep it up!

[FreeSoulLoveDance]

This is really good! i love it :)

[Phil Sanders]

Beautiful love poetry .. beautifully written .....

[SweetPeachesAlways]

I love this! Very good write!

[.]

Omg, that was just so wonderfully written!! Im just so impressed by this lovely write hehe. Words of love with a mixture of sweetness to it. Very well done!!

Mikey

[Y.F.]

Let me start off by saying I love the subject - very warm and very touching.
As stated before me the repetitiveness is great, and it really builds the song up and gives it a great flow.
I really enjoyed the last too verses, and what they appear to be standing for by their order, starting off with the part of love which is in fact the lust for each other, and ending with the joy of actually being side by side looking at each other, which emphasizes it's importance over the other.
A really great read - keep up the good work! :)