Unfinished One

I watched him every day. Every single day. I knew where his classes were. I knew which car he drove, and where he parked. I knew who he sat with at lunch, and who he walked with down the halls. I learned about him by watching him. He was majestic, like a beautiful flower in a field of weeds.

There was not a single day where he didn’t cross my mind. Even when I didn’t see him with my eyes, I saw him in my mind. In my head, he was mine. He loved me, he wanted me. But when I returned from my fantasy, he stared right through me, like I wasn’t even there. I was the epitome of nothingness.

Every once in a while, I thought I would catch him looking at me. Maybe a soft smile would creep onto his lips. But I knew better than that. I would never have someone like him. It was always a prettier girl, a smarter girl, a better girl. A girl not like me.

Months had gone by, and I just stood on the sidelines, watching him. It was the same routine every day, same people, same lunch, same classes.

Until one day, it wasn’t the same.

I was standing by the doors on the east side of the school, where Holden would come in every day at 7:34 exactly. I stared down at my phone, waiting for the time when the love of my life would come through the doors. I stood in the same position every day, hoping one time he might look up and see me, but he never did.

On this particular day, the time on my phone hit 7:34, and my heart started to race, like it always did. I felt my face get hot and I bit my lip. I tried not to stare at the doors, but I failed. I watched groups of laughing girls with Starbucks come in, boys all wearing basically the same outfit jacking around being loud. But Holden didn’t come through the doors. He was never late. He was always here at 7:34.

Panicking, I looked at my phone. 7:35. Where was Holden? Maybe he got into a car accident. Maybe he was in the hospital dying. Maybe he already was dead. I started to sweat, a nervous feeling rising in my chest. I alternated between staring at the door and the time on my phone. The screen read 7:36. 7:37. 7:38. Still no Holden.

I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t go ask his friends if they knew where he was, none of them know me. I knew that I was visibly freaking out when people walking by began giving me weird looks. I didn’t care. My Holden wasn’t here. He wasn’t here. He controlled my life. What would I do without him?

I was too busy to panicking to hear my best friend creep up behind me. She grabbed my shoulders and I jumped. "Woah, easy there tiger," she giggled. "It's just me."

I rolled my eyes. "Jesus, Harlowe. You scared the crap out of me." I said. Harlowe shrugged her shoulders and brushed her blonde hair behind her back. She looked absolutely beautiful, just like always. Her emerald eyes seemed to stare into my soul. A glimmer of trouble gleamed in her eyes.

"Is your boy toy not here yet?" She smirked. She knew about Holden, but not to the extent of how much I really liked him. I wouldn’t want her thinking I was a creep. Harlowe was one of the most popular girls at school. Literally everyone knew her. Because she is my friend, I did climb the popularity ranks a lot, but I wasn’t quite on the level as Harlowe. Sometimes I felt like I was a lost puppy dog following her around. Sometimes it felt like she didn’t really like me and she would rather be friends with some other basic popular girls. But for some reason, she was my best friend. The great Harlowe Holloway was my friend.

I sighed and made a face at her. "Nope. Whereabouts unknown." I pretended like I was going to cry.

She put her arm around my shoulders. "How about we ditch this joint? I could use some McDonald's." Harlowe and I were avid school skippers. Sometimes food was more important than first hour Spanish. It didn't take much convincing to get me out of first hour. Or second. Or third. Besides, I wouldn’t mind a little trouble to get my mind off of Holden.

"Let's do it." I said and shrugged. We walked out the east doors at 7:53, the exact minute Holden was walking in, laughing with a girl whose hair was messed up and clothes a little messy as well. They both smelled of weed and sex. I could tell Harlowe noticed it too, because she tugged on my arm and started walking a little faster. I pushed the doors of the school open more forcefully then I meant to, almost smacking a girl in the face. Quite frankly, I didn’t really care. I was pissed, and I bet she could tell too, because she decided to keep her mouth shut instead of yelling at me.

Harlowe dragged me out to her car and told me to get in. I obeyed, still in shock of Holden and the other girl. I opened the door to Harlowe's car and dropped into the seat, slamming the door closed. Harlowe got into the driver's seat and scolded me for slamming her car door. "I get you're mad but don't take it out on Carl!" Carl was her car's name. She really loves Carl. Carl smokes a lot when you first start him and his insides smell horribly of weed, but he's special all the same.

"Can we just get some food already?" I whined. Harlowe put her keys in the ignition and Carl started the smoke show. She backed out of the parking spot, almost hitting a small group of kids. Harlowe was a very careless driver, and normally I would drive, but I would probably kill someone with all the anger flowing through my veins.

We sped out of the school parking lot and drove straight to McDonald's. Harlowe bought over $20 in breakfast sandwiches and coffee, even though there is only two of us. We spent at least ten minutes sitting in the drive thru, waiting for our plethora of food. Harlowe knows me well enough to know that when I'm seething with anger not to try to talk to me. I tend to say a lot of things I don't mean when I'm angry, so we sat in silence, smelling the salt and grease in the air.

When we finally got our meal, Harlowe drove back to her house instead of school. This didn’t surprise me, usually when we skipped we hung out at her place for a while before and if we went back to class. I could tell that this time we would not return.

Harlowe unlocked the large doors to her empty house.

Author's Note

just a start

Reviews

[SRMarx]

This is an interesting story. You are very articulate and I really felt for your protagonist. I could feel her love for Holden. I think you did a great job describing her feelings for him. I'd be interested in reading more if you continued.