OBITUARY

An epigram by F. Schiller translated by J.M. Rakotolahy

OBITUARY

 

Do you enjoy your life

O! Passerby?

Then, this rejoices me

For I have also lived

I have also enjoyed life.

Author's Note

any suggestion of improvement welcome

Reviews

[Emily B]

It seems to me that translation is a tricky business. . . you can't think in exactly the same way through two different languages. That said, a different punctuation scheme might highlight the natural pauses.

Do you enjoy your life,

O, Passerby?

Then, this rejoices me

For I have also lived.

I have also enjoyed life.

And, then, I may not know anything at all.

[Notsoloud]

Reminds me of Frost. Short simple and well versed. Kind of a nod to how busy we get. It's like a hello/goodbye type feeling.

[Ruth]

Beautifully unique....the words we all are lefft with at the end have an aura of their own and die with us.....this is stunning love! xx

[emmajoy]

I prefer people to use their own English because then the reviewer finds charm in language, but, as you've asked, I suggest the following:

Oh, Passerby,
Do you enjoy your life?
If answering yes, then,
Rejoices me
For I have also lived
To reap the same ..

[Dom Macchiaroli]

Nothing to change here. I like the oddity of some of the phrases. Makes it more colorful.

[Mauricio Montoya]

Not a bad start I would finish it because it seems this piece need an end not to life but to this write. Good work

[Irfan Shah]

Its a simple and - what I would call - soft light-hearted piece with a heavy message for those who pay attention to it.
I believe Emily's suggestion regarding punctuation does makes sense. All the best and keep up the good work!

[Deborah Shepard]

I would not change a word, each day s one to rejoice life smiles hugs I love your writing

[Tony]

I don't think you could add to or change this gem much. It is light on a heavy subject, something I am a big fan of. Great verse!