Goldie the Goldfish

Goldie the Goldfish

A Poem by Raj Sahu
"

An emotional poem for my pet Goldie the Goldfish.

"

You are the charm of my little bowl,
Your skin and scale so orange
Like a pleasing sunset. I extol
your charm that no one can challenge.

I am happy as a clam,
whenever I struck with your glance,
Even during my toughest exam,
Seeing you means my luck is enhanced.

I love how you eat
Like a bird feeds on seeds.
How can I forget your sweet
water bubbles which everybody heeds.

O, Goldie! You are the precious part of my kin,
"Don't ever leave me", came a voice from within.

© 2018 Raj Sahu


Author's Note

Raj Sahu
You would fall in love with her on the very first sight!

My Review

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Featured Review

Very cute poem, and just from your description in this one I can just imagine how much joy Goldie must bring you.
"You are the charm of my little bowl,
Your skin and scale so orange
Like a pleasing sunset. I extol
your charm that no one can challenge."
That first stanza starts this one off great here, and I loved this poem. Good job!


Posted 6 Years Ago


2 of 2 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thanks a lot!



Reviews

Wow! Such a sweet and cute poetry it is. I loved this. I have a pet too and I know how much love we have for them. Good work!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you.
Anjali

6 Years Ago

You're welcome!
Nice poetry and thoughts for Goldie. I liked the softness of the words and care of something shared. Thank you Raj for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much.
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

You are welcome Raj.
Very cute and lovely written peice about your gold fish

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you.
There’s no need for your author’s note becuz we’ve all just fallen in love with your fish, as we read your joyful & affection-filled poem. I am crazy about the frogs & lizards that are plentiful outside around my home, & I’ve written poems of them, but never gloated in glee, as described by you here. I have never been a fan of fish, except I hate how people who fish think they are kind by stabbing a fish with a barbed hook, then tearing out hook & throwing fish back – they think this is a humane practice. Anyhow, your poem is at the other end of this spectrum & I’ve never felt such a rush of love for any creature. Your rhyming, rhythm, & emjambment (wrapping your lines from one to the next) is spot-on. In a few places, you use verbs in a turned-around way compared to what I’m used to seeing. Examples if you’re curious:
“your sight”  “seeing you”
(what the fish sees –vs-- seeing the fish is what makes us happy)
“my luck to enhance”  “my luck is enhanced”
(luck isn’t doing the enhancing, the fish is enhancing your luck)
my suggestion for that line:
“seeing you means my luck is enhanced”
(it’s OK to not have perfect rhymes –
better not to sound like you’re reaching for the rhyme)


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you for your descriptive review dear. I appreciate your suggestion.
This was a very sweet read about a little friend so precious. Great read.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you dear.
Never got attached to any pet so I don't know how it is...nevertheless... Poem was amazing

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you.
I would agree with emipoemi, there are a few awkward bits but it's nice to see someone write about something different.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you.
Thanks so much for entering the ode to my pet contest. love the artwork did you paint? Lovely poem

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you very much!
Cute!You conveyed sweet emotions and postive associations for your fish.Nicely written!

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much!
This is adorable. Seriously, absolutely adorable.

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Raj Sahu

6 Years Ago

Thank you.

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1812 Views
47 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on May 5, 2018
Last Updated on May 6, 2018
Tags: Pet, Goldfish, Love, Care

Author

Raj Sahu
Raj Sahu

Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India



About
Myself Raj Sahu from the historic town of Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India. I had completed my high schooling with flying colours from Choithram School, Indore in Humanities stream and was first in or.. more..

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