This was a heartfelt poem. It really got a message across, on how animal circuses are horrible. I really was persuaded by this poem, and it gives me a new look on animal circuses. Your grammar is pretty good, except in a few spots :p The biggest thing that I would suggest that you change about this poem is the colors. The different colors when I first took a look at your poem confused me because there was so much going on. but then I realized it was the different voices of the animals. In the future, I would try to avoid this, for it kind of hurt my eyes to look at. If you want color, try to stay with one, and if you want to stress certain lines, make them bold, or italic. I'm sorry if that sounded a little bit harsh because I didn't want it to sound that way I feel that this poem brings so much emotion to the readers. It was like I was looking through the eyes of the animals stuck there in the circus. And the expanded vocabulary words, like quoth, and docile, and elegiac, really made your story so much better. Last little note, kudos on making your poem rhyme, because that is very hard to do when you are trying to convey a certain message, I really enjoyed your poem, and keep up the great work!
-Lily
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks from the bottom of my heart! You gave such a precious time of yours to review my work, I am s.. read moreThanks from the bottom of my heart! You gave such a precious time of yours to review my work, I am so grateful to you. I will take care of colours next time.
Wow!
This is so phenomenal, actually the primo of its kind. You actually hit the nail at the head and that is the fact. We are in a world that every living creature deserve freedom, but we kept them hem them in captivity for nothing but just because of the unnecessary pleasure we get from looking at them, instead of leaving them in their wild world.
Thank you for that insight.
I can't stand to see animals in captivity. Animals are living beings and shouldn't be paraded for the amusement of others. I find it disgusting that people think that they can abuse animals just because they are lower life forms. Thanks for sharing. This really gives me a new perspective on the circus. Well written.
Animals deserve their freedom as much as humans...I would gladly fight for any animal until I can no longer do so...thank you for voicing this poignant issue :)
This poem is amazing, I love the old fashioned words and the way it strongly gets your point across, the way your able to give the animals a voice was amazing, I have a difficult time to get my poetry to rythme so I usually don’t and I find it absolute spectacular that you did, the rythming just brought the whole poem together
lovely poem😊... This is so true that humans just for their interest steel the freedom of the animals
Animals are tortured in the circus ,and what do the people earn by doing this,other than money nothing
Being an animal lover i loved the poem from the dept of my heart
Seems so sad, for the days of the circus are over and all the animals should be set free. The message is clear and the words paint the images across my heart as it feels your words ;-
Okay, that was magnificent. Your words are unique and are filled with pure fascination. One which I could not replicate. Candor envelopes your lines beautifully and I truly am in love with your poem. Humankind has always been suffused with greed and narcissism, and I hope that one day, our filthy acts will vanish. Amazing work!
Seeing animals in cages or performing acts isn't my idea of enjoying nature either. Because of that I've never been to a zoo or a circus. The only thing worse than man's inhumane treatment of beasts is man's inhumanity towards his fellow man.
Posted 6 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
6 Years Ago
Yes, I agree with your notion. Thank you for your review.
Damn...this is a very strong social comment. It is so sad to see the way the animals are treated. From the hunting for endangered species in the wild to circuses, aquariums and zoo's. I really have no desire to ever step foot in one again. Great point and great writing.
Hey, I am Raj from the historic town of Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India. I had completed my high schooling with flying colours from Choithram School, Indore in Humanities stream and was first in orde.. more..