Dark Side of a Circus

This poem give message that animals and birds should not be harassed.

Along with my family, I am visiting a Circus;

Very delighted and excited I am.

But suddenly; a painful sight jerk us

And everybody's cheek it slam.

We see many animals and birds

Who are looking with their elegiac eyes.

Beasts are mostly in girds,

Standing in despair and cries.

Hear what the bird say,

"Flying is my natural behaviour

but they clips my wings all day,

I feel a need of saviour."

And then the horse quoth,

"They tethers me with short rope

which I strongly loath

and only thing I want is to elope."

The dog is not far behind in saying,

"They locks me up in cage.

All mankind is betraying

and this act makes me enrage."

Then the elephant tell,

"I am waiting for an apostle,

To save me; as they compel

and beat me to keep me docile."

On hearing all; I feel an intense disgust,

Disgust for our selfishness.

It is our duty to entrust,

But we are surrounded by our greediness.

I am feeling myself guilty,

How offensive we became!

How one can show such cruelty?

I am feeling all ashame.

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar Problems

Reviews

[Eggplant]

This was a heartfelt poem. It really got a message across, on how animal circuses are horrible. I really was persuaded by this poem, and it gives me a new look on animal circuses. Your grammar is pretty good, except in a few spots :p The biggest thing that I would suggest that you change about this poem is the colors. The different colors when I first took a look at your poem confused me because there was so much going on. but then I realized it was the different voices of the animals. In the future, I would try to avoid this, for it kind of hurt my eyes to look at. If you want color, try to stay with one, and if you want to stress certain lines, make them bold, or italic. I'm sorry if that sounded a little bit harsh because I didn't want it to sound that way I feel that this poem brings so much emotion to the readers. It was like I was looking through the eyes of the animals stuck there in the circus. And the expanded vocabulary words, like quoth, and docile, and elegiac, really made your story so much better. Last little note, kudos on making your poem rhyme, because that is very hard to do when you are trying to convey a certain message, I really enjoyed your poem, and keep up the great work!
-Lily

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks from the bottom of my heart! You gave such a precious time of yours to review my work, I am so grateful to you. I will take care of colours next time.

[George Coombs]

A great poem, I dislike circuses and any degree of cruelty to animals, your writing does a particularly good job in getting over the animals experience-nice work

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you so much.😊

[George Coombs]

Your welcome

[wordman]

you are right,we should leave them alone,but as long as people go to a circus they will remain hostage

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks for your review. 😊

[Tabby Mac]

Creative to show us the animals point of view! Thank you for writing a piece like this! Well penned and great topic!
Tabby

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you very much. 😊

[Sofia]

A poem with a strong message... we never think of the animal's plight at the circus...the way you portrayed the emotions of the animals nd how they crave to be free is truly great... thank you for sharing nd highlighting animal cruelty..😊

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you dear. 😊

[Sofia]

My pleasure!!

[barleygirl]

You might know that "The Greatest Show on Earth" (Barnum & Bailey Circus) is doing it's last show after harnessing animals for almost 150 years. They stopped using elephants last year, so their sales dropped, & now they're quitting the show. Some are glad for the animals, some are sad to lose this family tradition.

Anyhow, back to your poem . . . this is quite brilliant & imaginative, especially with the dialogue from each animal, well-done & realistic as to what we think each animal is feeling, but I think using lots of color for text is distracting. Trust your message, trust your writing, don't use gimmicks. Your message is strong & straightforward & relatable. We as humans have been very cruel to other creatures on this earth.

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you. 😊

[Hope]

It truly sends out a strong message!
I loved your choice of words........
Great work, Raj:)

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot dear. 😊

[Hope]

My pleasure..

[Bear]

This reads like a story you might consider posting it in paragraphs and posting it as a story. That would also let you build on it and in time you could have a novel. Clap! Clap! Clap!

[Raj Sahu]

But isn't this good?

[Bear]

Yes the story is good but you ask that grammar be ignored and as a poem it is the grammar that tells how it is read as well as its meaning. By asking me to ignore grammar problems it is like driving a car but you cant make any left turns.

[Raj Sahu]

Okay, thanks. 😊

[Abhishek Asthana]

this is one of the significant issue to be highlighted... it's about the selfishness that they are used for our sake... so we need to look after them anyway...as lots of short and features movies have also been made o animal-friendly environment...so i equally respect your this piece....very nicely penned

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you so much. 😊

[ElizaB]

Thank you for your entry and highlighting the important issue of animal cruelty within corporations.

Good luck in the contest!

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you very much. 😊

[Priyanshi]

You have come up with a good poem, portraying the pain of animals,when they are caught up in cages and their freedom is restricted. ..... Rhyming of words is too good.... an adorable poem, it is, Raj.

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot dear. 😊

[Priyanshi]

My pleasure.