“Why did you leave me?
Was I wrong?
Why you didn't see,
That I cried all night long?"
Separation is the worst thing between any relation. I am too sorrowful for both the souls.
Now, about the poem, the question verses are good as they make a musical sense. The last two lines are too touching. My only suggestion to both the souls that they can come together and mediate between themselves.
Critique: (Why you did this?) this sentence is not constructed as a question it is worded as a statement. "Why did you do this?"
(Why you didn't complained) complain - the verb "complained" is incorrectly used with the helping verb "didn't".
(And didn't even given me a clue?) give - your sentence uses an incorrect form of the verb "given".
(Why you left me?) Why did you leave me?
Review: To ponder why, when considering another person's actions can be the most frustrating thing to do. No two of us are alike and even when we have known each other for years there are time and occasions where we seem complete strangers. This could be life's biggest mystery, well done you have me thinking and when you can reach out and touch your readers like this what more can a writer do? Outstanding job Standing Ovation! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap! Clap!
breaking up is hard enough without the burden of not knowing why. sometimes people think they are not hurting you by not telling you, but that's bull. They are saving themselves from facing the unpleasantness of breaking a heart. Nice write.
This message has a bitter accusatory sound, full of blame. I believe many people feel this way at the end of a relationship, so your sentiments are true-to-life & intensely stated. Even tho other people hurt us all the time, I don't believe in blaming another person for hurting me becuz I try to take responsibility for my own choices in life. Even tho the attitude in this poem is not to my liking, it happens all the time between people. There are a few places where your English is awkward . . .
"Why you left me" sounds better as "Why did you leave me"
"Why you didn't saw" sounds better as "Why didn't you see"
"Why you did this" sounds better as "Why did you do this"
Hope matters, but let it go whatever going now, everything happens for a reason my friend.....we enjoy happiness so we must enjoy the pain equally....I enjoyed it...:)
Myself Raj Sahu from the historic town of Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India. I had completed my high schooling with flying colours from Choithram School, Indore in Humanities stream and was first in or.. more..