Why did you leave me?

The poem is based on the separation of two loving souls.

Why did you leave me?

Was I wrong?

Why you didn't see,

That I cried all night long?

Why did you leave me?

Was there any misunderstanding?

Why did you do this?

Was our relation not outstanding?

Why did you leave me?

Had I ever hurt you?

Why you didn't complain,

And didn't even give me a clue?

I wish that may you return back,

Every day my heart receives an attack.

Author's Note

What is your recommendation to both the souls?

Reviews

[Lara Crimson]

“Why did you leave me?
Was I wrong?
Why you didn't see,
That I cried all night long?"

Separation is the worst thing between any relation. I am too sorrowful for both the souls.
Now, about the poem, the question verses are good as they make a musical sense. The last two lines are too touching. My only suggestion to both the souls that they can come together and mediate between themselves.

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot! Your suggestion is also good.

[Jackie]

A great read. Maybe add a few words for better understanding but otherwise shows emotion, confusion. All relative feelings.

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you. 😊

[Anjali]

Such an emotional and heart stirring poem! I really liked it!

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you so much. 😊

[Anjali]

You are welcome

[pragya gaur]

'Why you left me' a very emotional poem...I loved it

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you. 😊

[Priyanshi]

When people part away, they do so due to some reasons behind it....it may either due lack of understanding or due to dominating behaviour , or may be other reasons.....but the pain it leaves is unbearable....that unbearable pain you portrayed it very well, i enjoyed it, Raj.

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot dear. 😊

[Priyanshi]

My pleasure, Raj.

[rowan.taylorrr]

very emotional. this is very raw and emotional and i love it

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you. 😊

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I like this piece. You are expressing the feeling of loss. At the same time it blames the other. My recommendation for both the souls, and for each writer is; to observe others we connect with and seek to understand how we appear to them by the way they react to us. In this way, we shift our attention to their way of perception and what matters to them. At that point we may validate, for them, a reason to continue toward a relationship with us. When we write, readers do not concern themselves with how we feel but rather how we make them feel. The same holds true with the people we encounter in this life.

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you a lot dear. 😊

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot! Your suggestion is also good.

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

You are welcome. I must admit, I'm not good at following my own advice in this matter.

[Stacy Purvis]

Bear was so gracious to give us this fabulous link: www.grammarly.com
This piece is lovely but grammar can kill the most beautiful piece.

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks. Yes, I am agree with you.

[Tabby Mac]

I love this piece. I think the subject is great and there is feeling in it! A very relatable piece.
There are a few words I switch around and a few I'd add for a smoother read and for understanding purposes.
Example: "why (have) you left me?"
"Why (did you) do this?"
A few words just need switched, but then a few like the one about crying has a tense problem...instead of saw maybe see..."why didn't you (see) that I cried all night long"...
I think this is something you are already working on...but these few adjustments will help the reader a bit with understanding the power behind the poem...because the feeling is there!!
Great job on the subject and emotion!
Tabby

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you very much dear. 😊

[Sira YR]

I agree wholeheartedly with Bear's critique. The poem has a good message but it is kinda smothered by the improper word choice and structure. You have to be careful with that because that will tend to turn the reader off. Grammar is just as important as style and plot. Bad grammar overshadows a good plot, especially if it's frequent throughout the piece. But I liked the message it sent and it causes one to ponder over the struggles of love and relationships.

All in all, like the message and style but I would fix the grammar issues :)

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks for your suggestions. I appreciate them.

[George Coombs]

Conclusion of third line of first verse I would have put 'see' rather than 'saw' -a well written piece with an excellently c hosen image

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you. 😊

[George Coombs]

Your welcome