This poem is based on random thoughts of a man who has a farsight.
I feel I need to learn again,
The art of keeping time.
So more and more I can gain,
The success by keeping it as prime.
And more and more I constrain;
The obnoxious acts of mankind's crime.
The world needs to be helpful,
As the creator always taught us to be.
It needs to be forever youthful,
To help the needy; promptly one see.
This act will make the world more beautiful
And one will get help whenever he plea.
When I will learn to keep the time,
I will available for others readily.
I will render help to those who are grime
And humanity will run steadily.
Everywhere this act will sublime
And men will not charitable formally.
When the pot of everyone's kindness,
Will fill with their idle and waste hours.
All will do more and more acts of goodness,
So that the deprived ones will empower's.
God's love for this world is full of blindness
And we thanks him that he is ours.
Finally, I conclude; these are random ideas
And I wish that these may come true.
The world will fill with helpful petunias
And maybe these thoughts will spread anew.
All we need to spare time from all the areas
And work as an entire crew.
As you read that this poem is based on random thoughts of a man who has a far sight. He doesnot flatter in the poem but wishes that may he spares some time for mankind to help. He also insist others to opt this act so that the world will be beautiful. He also gave reference of God's love. May be some readers find this poem a little weird, but I said previously; these are just random thoughts.
My Review
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When I read your author's note, it sounds like you're anticipating rejection of your message. I encourage you to be confident in your truth and not worry about those who might not understand or like it. There will always be lovers & haters who read us.
Overall, I think your message is well-written & well-expressed to show a lighthearted optimism & encouragement to live our best lives. I like the various examples & details you use to show us what a best life might look like. I can understand everything, but once in awhile the construction of your English seems a little awkward to figure out the meaning or maybe it sounds wrong to the ear as far as spoken English. But you're doing well & just keep practicing to get better.
Posted 7 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thank you very much Mam. You always inspires me. 😊
I love it!! Sometime your word choice is not predictable, but I understand what you are trying to say. The flow is great in this piece even with your choice of words! The story is great, the message is great!! Well done!! I really liked this one!!!
Tabby
I really do like this piece, Raj, it appears from the beginning of your poem that the events you wish to happen steams from the Christian teaching of Agape, loving kindness, and a simplistic compassionate nature, which I really liked.
I read poems more than I read stories now. This was a positive one that I doubt will ever happen in real life, but still a good message.
-KyLaQz
Posted 7 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
7 Years Ago
Thanks for your review. I want to tell you that whether the truth or positiveness suffers in this wo.. read moreThanks for your review. I want to tell you that whether the truth or positiveness suffers in this world, but they will reach to the ultimate triumph. 😊
6 Years Ago
O So lovely of you. Thank you again for your motivating words.
Myself Raj Sahu from the historic town of Burhanpur, Madhya Pradesh, India. I had completed my high schooling with flying colours from Choithram School, Indore in Humanities stream and was first in or.. more..