Entrance in My Life

The poem is based on poet's love whom he always wishes from God and at last his wish is granted.

In the deserted lonely square,

In which the sad sand smear;

I was waiting for a saviour,

who would be my carrier.

My thirst of love was too severe,

That I want one to quench it mere.

And our Lord, the God; heard my wish

and granted it, which was too astonish.

Adorable and Admirable, Honest and Amiable

Decent, Kind and altogether Lovable.

And what qualities shall I reveal

as there are none to conceal.

Forlorn and Feeble was I,

and was taking a deep sigh.

But now there's delight and joy

with my love I will enjoy.

Far worse I had lived,

and for many things deprived.

But now I will love you my dear,

and I will get rid of fear.

Author's Note

Ignore Grammar Problems

Reviews

[Lara Crimson]

“Forlorn and Feeble was I,
and was taking a deep sigh.
But now there's delight and joy
with my love I will enjoy."

When there is a first contact with our love, the person is so elated and wishes that the love should remain forever with him.
Now, about your work, the image you paste is very beautiful and the vivid description of the love, saviour, God keeps me reading the entire poem. How was your suffering and how you rejoiced after his entrance is worth noting. Looking for more of your works.

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you very much. I appreciate your review.

[Chryiss]

Just as in my first review of your writing in the starved stomachs poem, rhymes-not a fan. But you employed some uncommon rhymes, so it was not at all a bother to my enjoyment. The only one I had an issue with was "too astonish." I realize to ignore grammar problems such as this, but for me individually, this kind bothers me when the incorrect grammar actually completes the rhyme needed as it should be "to astonish" or "too astonished." The former would possibly change the desired meaning of the line while the latter would ruin the "perfect" rhyme. However, astonished would still work in the rhyme actually. Of course, it could also be changed to "to my astonish" which might keep the meaning as well as the rhyme.
....Haha, you see this is why I often detest rhymes. They stand out so much as to take away my focus on other matters. But to be fair, other than that single rhyme, the rest were really rather pleasant.
Finally, as to the content of the poem, I really love that you spoke of not romantic, humanly love, but of godly love--a love poem to God of sorts. This is rather impressive to do, and I sincerely applaud you for it~

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot!

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Again thanks for this beautiful read and poetry
thanks for entry into another of my weekly competitions i like this a lot i wish you well

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you.

[Julie McCarthy (juliespenhere)]

as i said to another contestant 86 to judge and comment on its very hard there are no losers here if anyone is a loser its me for having to choose 10 out of 86 a very hard deal indeed lol no losers in this comp

[Julie McCarthy (juliesp..]

Thanks for entering my competition love this beautiful

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you!

[Nolo Segundo]

Congratulations on your 1st place, Raj!

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you dear.

[Pooja]

You writes love poetry quite well dear!

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you!

[Kleptomaniac]

May you carry this happiness all through your life. Poem is well penned.

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you!

[Crazy Robot]

Love..beautiful words..er..nice..

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you.

[Breadwinner]

It is a very nice feeling when one's love enter in his/her life..you are just on the seventh heaven..you depicted the same feelings through this work..keep writing

[Raj Sahu]

Thanks a lot!

[PoeticBlindness]

It is very interesting to note that when you found your love you are free from fear. Love is such a vast concept that we mortals know only a minuscule about it. Thank you.

[Raj Sahu]

Thank you so much!