Warmth

This is a bit of a different style than what I usually write, but I cannot lie, I am proud of this little poem.

It seems as though

For too long

I have been enveloped

In warmth.

 

I think maybe now

Is time for a change.

 

So I jump out

Of the soft wool blanket

That I've been

So absorbed

Into for so long,

And I jump into

The icy water.

 

Soon, I cannot feel my toes.

Later, I lose the feeling

In my fingers.

 

Once I am numb

All the way through,

I look around to see

What all I have missed

While I was wrapped

In the warmth

Of that soft wool blanket.

 

Now I know.

 

Author's Note

Comments/critique always welcome!

Reviews

[deeps]

This is a wonderful write here, i enjoyed this

[Tony]

We all gotta test those waters every once in a while-- it brings us a deeper appreciation of "warmth". Really liked the message you present here.

[KAREN]

I really liked this, Your nice and toasty, but you want to experience other things as well! NICE!!

[Bubo]

It feels to me you could be writing about the comfort of life, and how we get so cozy......escaping reality.......I like the image you create and your reader can imagine many things happening here.

[Zoe Jay]

This is great. It's a really nice, compact piece of writing, which is very hard to do well. I haven't read many really short poems which are really good, so I'm very impressed with this. It's an elegant, direct, under-stated way of expressing the core idea without excess. I also like the pacing, the use of the short verse/refrains gives it a nice, slightly unusual flow which stops the poem from being mundane. Overall it's a tidy metaphor, written boldly, well executed, and I think you were quite brave to take on this style and subject. Very good example of economical writing being successful.