Eighteen

 “Well, Nie, my dear. I just stood up to Daniel. And man, it was spectacular. Life may finally be good for once.” All three of them smiled from ear to ear. “Congrats.” Ellie said. Nie and Scarlett nodded, obvious on their faces that they completely agreed. I smiled at them on the outside, but really on the inside I was feeling sort of guilty for being so out there with Daniel. Even though he had anger management he was still a fragile boy. Hopefully what I told him wouldn’t cause him to do anything too drastic.

 

The rest of the day up until five minutes before sixth period started went by in a blur. I was now standing outside of Mr. Barnes’s room, taking in deep breaths and trying to brace myself for the upcoming encounter with Daniel. I managed to get the door open with my eyes closed and stepped in. I opened my eyes and searched the room for Daniel’s face which wasn’t anywhere in sight.

 

I felt the fear drain from me and I calmly walked to my desk and set my books down. This class and the next were the classes we had to work on our projects all class. I guess I could make it through. Daniel had said that he was sorry, so maybe that was supposed to be taken as a treaty of our peace? I hoped so, because I didn’t think I could last through another hour or day feeling his horrible gaze on my bruised up face.

 

At that moment I lifted up one of my hands and touched the side of my face that the bruise from the park had been. It still hurt a little when I prodded at it. I pulled out my mirror and looked at it closely. You could barely see the purple, but I couldn’t say as much for the bruise on the other cheek. It was slightly darker than the other one, but still a lot more noticeable.  I sighed and put my mirror away.

 

That was when I noticed Daniel standing in front of my desk. I jumped a little from surprise. “Hey.” I whispered, looking at his solemn face. He smiled at my innocent reaction and replied, “Hey there.” Then he walked to his desk in the back of the room. I let out the breath I had been apparently holding and leaned down in my seat.

 

Now that I actually thought about it, every time I saw Daniel, my heart sped up and my breathing came short and quick. And every girl knows what those symptoms lead to. Pure love. Oh gosh. Please, no. There is no way I can love Daniel. No matter how sweet he has been this day. There is absolutely no way that would ever happen. But still…maybe?

 

No, no. That is nonsense. He’s beaten me and used me. How could I love such a man? Although he is cute…Alas, he’s an a*****e. There can’t be any way for me to love him. Not at all. I turned around in my seat and caught him staring at me. He blushed and looked down at his book open on his desk. I blushed too and turned back around. And then I remembered; what about Blake?

 

Blake was the sweetest guy I had ever met. From the moment I met him I knew he was a great guy. He just had that look. And plus the moment he saw me he was immediately sympathetic and asked if I was all right. Now that is what anyone would consider a truly kind person. And that was true. He was really considerate, and not to mention funny. Plus Blake was really cute. What else could you ask for in a guy? Nothing really, so why am I thinking about Daniel, this guy who for the past year has done nothing but torture me on the inside and out. Am I crazy too?

 

I thought back to the moment that I was sitting on the sidewalk crying when Blake had come up and saved me from my mental breakdown. It had been like Daniel had tied two bricks to my feet and thrown me into a salty sea. Gasping for air would only make it worse, so I decided to hang on to my last bit of air. Though at the same time I was sinking lower and lower into a place where I could never return from once I got too deep into.

 

But there I was, drowning on the sidewalk, and here comes Blake just walking along. He could have just seen me and kept walking. But no. He came right up to me, sat down and asked me if I was all right. I remember looking up into his pale sky blue eyes and thinking I was looking at an angel. He was the first glimpse of heaven I had seen in a while. He was the buoy out of my drowning fate, and I would always owe him for that, even if he denied it and said it was just something he had to do.

 

Right there and then sitting in social studies class, debating my life choices, I decided that I would never deal with Daniel again. We could be partners in this class and have to go over to each other’s houses to work on this dumb project, but no matter what we were not going to be friends. I didn’t care how sorry the dude was. He did what he did and no amount of apologizes was going to change that. Sorry, Daniel, but I’ve moved on. And I think that you should too.

 

It was really hard to work with Daniel on the project during class. But guess what? I survived. I’m not drowning again. I’m alive and dry.  All though while him and I were working on it he kept trying to bring up what had happened this morning. However, little old me just kept going off topic. But of course little old Daniel kept pestering and pestering. Too bad I’ve had so many months of practice from him of ignoring his protests that I was now a pro and rarely gave into his begging anymore.

 

I was now in my car driving back home with all these thoughts stored up in my overloaded brain. I was almost home when I remembered what had happened at the end of class. And it really pissed me off. Daniel had came up behind me and said, ‘Why not call me tonight, baby? Like old times.’ And then he slipped his number into my hand and ran off. Did he think that I didn’t have his number? I had planned on deleting it but never got around to it. But that wasn’t what pissed me off. What really bugged the s**t out of me was that he thought that he could just come up to me and say that.

 

He actually thought he had the nerve to talk to me in that way, like we were a couple again or something. I shivered in my seat at that thought. I may have crushed on him for about five seconds at the beginning of class, but that feeling was long gone now. Especially after he did that to me. It really freaked me out. And I was definitely not going to call the creep. That would just be showing him that I gave in too easily. Oh no, if he wants me to call him or interact with him at all, he was going to have to work for it.

 

When I got home and walked in the front door my mum walked into the room and spoke for the first time in three months, “Honey, Lucas needs to talk to you.” My mouth dropped. I had actually forgotten the sound of my mum’s voice. She had been beautiful before, but with her silk-like voice, it was like she had dropped twenty years. It was amazing hearing her again.

 

I stood there gaping like a fish until she chuckled and said, “Oh Chelsea, I’m so sorry about that last couple of months. In fact, I’m sorry for everything. Lucas told me everything. You needed me the most over the past year and I was a horrible mother. I wasn’t there for you, instead I only thought about my own mourning and myself, not even thinking that you had your own problems. And I’m just so sorry, sweetheart.”

I hadn’t heard my mother speak in so long that I was in shock. I finally accomplished the task of making my teeth, tongue, and lips to work together, “Oh, mum.” I said and walked over to her. She wrapped her arms around me as I did to her and we just stood there hugging. I had missed her so much. For the longest time she had seen like an empty person. Just a ghost wandering through life with a path to follow. I had felt so bad for it and yet she had tried so hard to be a good mother. “You were never a bad mother. You were trying your hardest for Lucas and I. We understood what you were going through.”

 

Without notice, tears sprung to my eyes and as I looked at my mum, there were tears in her eyes too. It might have seemed like a really corny reunion since we had been encountering with each other just not talking, but it definitely wasn’t corny. I had missed her for so long and now she was here right now with me and I couldn’t be happier. Finally, for at least ten minutes I had forgotten about my own problems and focused on something way more important.

 

My mum wiped her eyes and smiled at me. I returned it and said, “Lucas wants to talk to me?” She laughed, nodding her head. “Yes, he said it was urgent, too. Better get up there before he freaks.” I laughed and headed up the stairs, but then stopped and walked back down, “Mum?” I questioned. She turned to me, “Yes?” I bit my lower lip and said softly, “You were never a bad mother. Please remember that. It wasn’t your fault. You know, what happened to dad.” I smiled reassuringly. She didn’t say anything. She just stood there staring at me, sympathy warming her eyes.

 

I turned and ran up the steps and into Lucas’s room. “You rang?” I said. Lucas looked up from a magazine he was reading. “Yeah. You heard from mum?” I was too excited to speak, so I just grinned and nodded. Lucas laughed and shook his head back and forth, “It’s amazing, isn’t it? Mum. Speaking. I would have thought that that never was going to happen again.” “Wow.” I whispered more to myself than to Lucas. 

 

I looked out Lucas’s window at a tree in our front yard. It had a pretty blue bird on it. Even though his window was closed I could tell the bird was singing because of the way it moved its beak. I actually felt really happy. The event with mum was really spectacular, but the view of the blue bird just made my day. The anger from what Daniel did with the whole call me thing died away and I just didn’t care anymore.

 

I shifted my eyes over toward Lucas and asked, “So what did you need to see me for?” He looked up and said, “Ah yes. You saw Daniel today?” I rolled my eyes, “Yeah I saw him.” “And Blake?” Well, now that I thought about it, I never saw Blake at school. He always would say that he was going to see me at school, but I had never seen him there. Not in the halls, or the lunchroom or anything.

 

That’s weird. I’d have to talk to him sometime and ask what that was about. “No, I haven’t seen him at all.” I responded to Lucas’s question. “He probably stayed home today so he didn’t have tension on his stitches from yesterday.” “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.” And I had. The incidents yesterday seemed so long and forlorn.

 

I turned to look at the blue bird again but it was gone. It didn’t matter because the happiness it had left with me was still there. I rolled over on Lucas’s bed so I was lying on my back and looking at his ceiling. “Lucas?” “Mmm?” He asked, not exactly paying attention. “When you graduate this spring you’re going to college, right?”

 

Lucas put down his magazine and looked at me. I stared straight back. He let out a puff of air and responded, “Yes, Chelsea. I’m going to UGA in the fall.” I nodded. I really didn’t want Lucas to leave. Without him here it was going to be so lonely in the house. At least with mum talking it wouldn’t be so lonely. But there are some things that you can talk to your mum about and some things that you really just can’t at all.