Seventeen


--————————————-School Next Day———————————————————


Science book? Check. Agenda? Check. Notebook? Check. All right I was ready to go. My locker was open and I was getting my books out for first period. I had until after lunch when I was to meet my death in Social Studies. Well, not literally. But it felt like it, counting down the hours. I closed my 
locker door and began walking down the hallway to my homeroom. Alas, of course, I encountered Daniel on the way.

I stopped in the middle of the hallway, my last breath caught in my throat. He looked up from his notebook and stopped as well. It had to have been at least five minutes of staring each other down until Daniel began walking toward me. I took one slow step back. Sorrow filled his eyes and face. I immediately felt bad, but that wasn’t going to stop me from being cautious. “Chelsea” He spoke my name with such longing I almost caved in, but I didn’t. I stood my ground, gritted my teeth together and said, “Yes, Daniel?”

He closed his eyes and I could tell that he was trying very hard to stay calm because of the way he was doing one of his breathing exercises that I had taught him so long ago. But was it really that long ago that him and I were sitting on my couch in my petite living room and laughing? Actually enjoying us without demand or abuse? Could this boy before me be the same boy I had fallen in love with two years ago and loved up until a year ago? He seemed like a stranger. His jaw line was more defined and muscular. His entire frame was more buff. Even his face, as familiar as it seemed to my eyes, was so different when actually seen by my mind.

Daniel had changed so much in two years that if I hadn’t seen him so frequently in and out of school, I probably wouldn’t have recognized him. He was a stranger in looks and character. To me, he wasn’t the Daniel I remembered. To me, he was a nightmare. A nightmare that I just couldn’t wake up from. I spent half the night rolling around in my sleep trying to recall how to wake up and see the light of day.

After my little synopsis, Daniel answered my dangling question. “I know that I have been a terrible person in the past and that you probably hate me-” “You got that right.” I interrupted. Daniel’s face became very serious and I shut my mouth at once, afraid of what would happen. I quickly darted my vision around the hallway, searching for anyone that could be a witness in case this simple conversation turned into something else.

 

“Please hear me out.” Daniel pleaded. I thought about that for a second. Should I hear the poor guy out? That would show that I was weak to his pleading. Well, then again Daniel wasn’t too bright. Maybe he wouldn’t notice that that was my weakness. “Fine.” I said, emotionless like I could care less. Daniel smiled, “Thanks, CC.” I gasped by accident. The old nickname had caught me off guard.

“Daniel, please don’t call me that.” He used to call me that before he started abusing me. He had said that it wasn’t fair that him and everyone else called me Chelsea or Chels. So he came up with his own little nickname that only he could call me. So he called me CC. I had always found it cute and special that he had made up a nickname just for me. But now it made me sick that he would use that against me.

“Right, sorry. Okay so as I was saying, Chelsea. You probably hate me, and I don’t care. I deserve the hate from you and whoever else knew about what I did to you. It was horrible and I understand that now. You taught me something, Chelsea. Girls aren’t little toys that you can play with and then just throw out when you get bored. They’re delicate and you have to take care of them.” All of my anger toward Daniel in the past year drained out of my like someone had pulled a plug.

“Daniel...I have hated you for a long time. It is so tiring. But to hear you speak these words to me, and to do it so calmly. Maybe I was wrong about you. In fact, maybe Lucas was wrong about you. Maybe people DO change.” Daniel beamed. Of course, as sweet as he was now, there was no way I was going to get sucked into his vortex again. I was done with that boy. I never wanted to deal with him again, no matter how much he seemed that he had changed. “That’s great, Chelsea. So, does this mean we can be friends?”

I thought about that. Should I let him back into my life as a friend? Or would that be too risky? Even as a friend, he could damage me pretty well, especially if he were to be alone with me. I shuddered, not even wanting to picture the consequences of that. “I’m not exactly sure, Daniel. While we were going steady, I trusted you a lot. But the second you abused me, that trust kept dropping and dropping. Now I’m scared to trust any guys except for my brother. You really scarred me, Daniel. I hope you realize that. For now, you are just going to have to try to gain my trust back. And friendship is built off of trust so I’m not sure how that would work out.”

Daniel cocked his head to the left a bit. I was really surprised that he stayed calm so long. It used to be if I mentioned on little thing that he didn’t agree to, he would go completely ballistic. But he was staying completely calm. He wasn’t even raising his voice. I was really impressed; maybe he was trying to change. “What about acquaintances?” Daniel asked, hope rising in his voice. Man, this boy is desperate to get back on track with me.

Now it was my turn to try and stay calm. “Listen...I’m sure that you’re trying really hard to change for me and others in your life. But I really just need some time to think about this, you know? I just...I can’t do this right now.” I walked forward and stepped around him. My footsteps were loud and clumsy in the muted hallway, but I could care less because I stood up to Daniel for final time. And I did it calmly.

Without meaning to, I turned my head around to see if Daniel was still standing there. And he was. He was standing in the same place, with his back to me. He was staring straight at the space where I had been standing only seconds before. Did I stun him? Perhaps I should go back and say I was kidding or something...No, it’s fine the way it is. I’m sure that he’ll forget about all this and not care after awhile.

When I entered homeroom mostly everyone was already in there. I sat down in between Scarlett and Ellie. Nie was talking to our teacher, Ms. Russ. I let my shoulders drop and then closed my eyes. Even through the darkness of my eyelids I could tell that both Scarlett and Ellie were staring at me. I opened my eyes and looked first at Ellie and then at Scarlett. “What happened?” “Are you okay?” They both at asked at the same time.

Suddenly, I had a random spaz of hysterics. I just started laughing and laughing. Tears were streaming down my face I was laughing so hard. I think I fell out of my chair, but I couldn’t remember because the laughter rumbling through me was so intense. After about five minutes and laughter, and everyone giving me weird looks and asking if I was all right; I stopped. Ms. Ross walked over and put her hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her worried but amused face. “You okay, Chelsea?” “Couldn’t be better, Ms. Ross.” I smiled up at her. She smiled back and then walked back to her desk.

Nie walked over and sat down behind me. I turned to face her and she asked me, “What’s wrong with you?” I almost had another fit of hysteria, but I held it in. Trying to at least look a little normal, which everyone knew wasn’t correct. They all knew how strange I was. That’s why not too many people were surprised to find me on the floor cracking up.