Nine

All through the day I thought and thought about the dilemma between Steve and Daniel. Yes, Daniel had been in my heart for two years. And for the past year he has been pushing on that love. Almost to the point of breaking. And finally he pushed to hard and the line between our love has broken. I wonder if he regrets what he has done to me?

Besides, I am officially scarred for life because what I have experienced. Not to mention that some of these scratches and bruises wouldn’t heal all the way and would eventually become scars. Scars that would remind me every day of my past with Daniel. Probably the worst part of my life. So far.

“Chelseaaaa? CHELSEAAAA?” Aliee yelled my name louder and louder, until I began to come out of my little flashback thoughts. “Huh?” I asked, completely out of it. “Sweetie, are you going to be alright?” I glanced around. I hadn’t realized that we were now on our way to class. When did that happen? When did we leave the lunch room? Wow, I really need to work on that zoning out problem.

“Yeah. I think so, Aliee. I just know that I’m obviously never going to forget Daniel. But not in a good way. He’s a bad part of my past.” Aliee nodded, seeming to understand. Aliee was a really good friend because she knew when to shutup and be serious. Katie sometimes didn’t. Don’t get me wrong, they both share equality in my heart, but each of them have better qualities than the other one. For this problem, Aliee was probably the best way to go.

 

 

Aliee and I went our separate ways. Her to Science, I thought. And me on my way to Social Studies. I was contemplating on whether or not I had done the right problems in the book for homework, when suddenly I realized a terrifying thing. My body seemed to shut itself down and came to a halt in the middle of the hallway. Daniel was in my Social Studies class. And we were partners for the next two classes to work on our projects. “Why me?” I muttered to myself and whipped around the corner. I stepped into the classroom and held my breath.

Glancing over to Daniel’s usual seat, three behind mine which was the first one in the second row, he was seated quietly with a book placed in his muscular hands. I shook my head, I couldn’t think about those things. Muscles had always turned me on. So...big. Round. STRONG. No. I have to stop. He used to be an addiction. Something that hurt you, and you knew that, but you just. couldn’t. stop.

I took three quick strides and plunked myself down on my fake plastic chair. Good thing Daniel was too deep into his book that he hadn’t noticed my entrance. Only about a minute had passed since I had come into class, but already I was nervous about the next hour and half having to spend with my ex abusive man.

My mind brought myself back to this one time when Daniel and I had gone to a party. I had been really excited because it was going to be my first high school party. (Lame, right?) But Daniel had made me promise that I wouldn’t drink or do anything crazy like that. I had promised him of course, and had even kept my promise. But HE hadn’t promised anything. He had drank and drank all night. I had been dumped out on the street like a forgotten winter outfit. I hadn’t known anyone there, and he had expected me to just get along fine without him?

All I know is that I had found Daniel in the bathroom puking his heart out, and I had dragged him down the stairs, drove him home and then went back to my home sweet home and hadn’t woken up until almost a day later. I had been exhausted. Now from sleep, but just the case in which I hadn’t known anyone there and Daniel didn’t even stop in to see if I had needed company or If I had wanted to go home. Nothing. Zip. Zilch.

My mind dragged my weary body back into Social Studies, where my teacher, Mr. Barnes, was already starting the lecture. I pulled out my notebook and subconsciously by habit looked over my shoulder at Daniel. He smiled a non-charming smile. A smile I didn’t recognize. It had a mixture of sorrow, regret and anger in it. I cowered back a little bit and turned myself to face Mr. Barnes. No matter what happened I would not let my sympathetic self be dragged into his pathetic little figure and get myself hurt again. It may sound selfish, but I need to protect myself, because I evidently had had others trying to reach the same goal but I just wouldn’t let them open my door. 

 

 

 

“Class, as soon as you finish the three problems on page 79 you can get into your groups for your project that is due next week.” Mr. Barnes stated to the whole class. I let out an exasperated sigh. Daniel and I had picked each other as partners two weeks back, when we were still together. We hadn’t even thought of the chance of us breaking up. Well, I had. But I hadn’t tried to think on it too long.

My book opened easily, weary from all the damage I had done to it these past four months of school. I gave it a hug in my mind and promised it that I would try to make it look more appealing when I had time. The problems in the book were quite simple. Just regular ‘When did World War ll begin and end?’ and ‘Why were colonial women considered not important?’.

With great ease, I swept through the questions and felt frantic as I ended the third problem. I definitely wasn’t looking forward to spending the rest of the period dealing with Daniel. My pencil dropped from my hand onto my desk and I took a quick peek to see if Daniel had finished yet.

There he was, staring off into space. His cropped hair was growing out and hung a little bit above his eyebrows. He looked so thoughtful. So mature. Here I go again, thinking of all the positive things about him. Making myself feel like I miss him. Well, I don’t. There are too many negative things about him that overrule those good things.

Still, he did look rather cute. The sun coming in from the window that he was gazing at glinted off his eyes and made them seem like they were sparkling. It seemed so unreal, like a fantasy that I made up in my mind, that he ever abused me. He just had the image of someone so gentle and caring. Boy, talk about not judging a book by its cover. But this time, it isn’t that he seems not nice, he seems amazingly nice, but he turned out to be horrid!

How could such a beautiful thing be so ugly?

Before I had realized how long I had been staring at him, he turned and his eyes locked on mine. I inhaled quickly and unexpectedly. His eyes seemed sad. Like he was physically in pain. I had too look away. Now. But something held me there. Not the intense stare coming from his blue green eyes. Not the fact that he was just so beautiful. But just because I didn’t want to look away. I wanted this moment to last forever.

And then, it ended. Chairs were scraping, whispers emerged from each side of the room. Daniel had looked back down at his book, leaving me there with a dazed look planted on my face. “Chelsea?” Mr. Barnes’s voice inquired, filled with more than one question with just one word. I didn’t even glance his way, my eyes were still stuck on Daniel. “Yes?” I muttered softly. “If you’re finished with your book work, then you may go hook up with your partner there and work on your project. Remember, its due next class.” Hook up. What a strange way to phrase working together. I wonder if Mr. Barnes knew that Daniel and I had been going out. Ah well. Doesn’t matter now.

“Yes sir.” I said to him a beat too late, and began picking up my stuff. Daniel looked my way as I stumbled toward him in an awkward walk. It was very awkward indeed, what with him practically glaring at me. I could feel my cheeks filling with blood and it was all I could do not to just plop myself on the floor and give up entirely on this life of mine.

“Hey.” I said, sort of quick and slurred. “Mmm.” Daniel replied. I rolled my eyes. Fine, if he was going to be immature and pretend that we were only acquaintances and nothing had ever happened between us for the last two years, then so be it. I shuffled around my binder until I came up with our paper that had scribbles of notes and footnotes of forgotten information. I couldn’t even remember what our project was about my mind was so full.

I stole a look at Daniel because I could feel his eyes on me. “Chels...I...” Ah ha. So he WAS going to talk to me about it. I turned myself so that I was facing him. “Yes, Daniel, what is it?” I didn’t say it rudely, I was just impatient because his mood had changed so quickly. Almost eagerly. “Well...I thought that you should know that...”

 

 

 

Reviews

[bluessadmood]

how i liked the part where she sat beside him in class..
as she finished her test and kneeling down to get her pen..could not help but steal a look at him ..he was gazing in front of him..she was a amazed how lovely he looked..how could all that beauty hide so much ugliness..
yet she found herself..her eyes glued on looking at him so deep ..took a while ,even forgot herself as he suddenly looked back their stares fixed on each other for a while ,even after his gaze went the other side she could not but keep looking..i wonder how women could be so emotional to a crazy degree for how could she appluad him after all his cruelties with her ..his abuse ..but still i could see she had a fix on him..makes me wonder as i always wondered how women thought and behaved ,their emotions pretty different from the male sex..i think there was still love though hidden and fought back by her ego and intent to keep him away becuase of all the abuse he has done to her..
i really loved that part of the writing..it was so mature and a great insight there
lovely write