big bro

this is not real just something i wrote please dont call the cops my brother never has done this to me

growing up

was easy for you

you were always bigger

stronger and smarter too

you hit your teenage year

before me 

you became a thing

that i never thought you be

you bring home "friends"

you told me not to tell

thats when i learn the skill of blackmail

then i hit my teenage years

started to act like you

i brought home "friends" to

dad found out

he started to holer

i was just  trying to be like my older brother

then you started to do the one thing i hated

you come home late

when i asked

you said  its complcaied

you prosmised to stop

then you went off and had one more pop

one night you came in drunk

you came in my room

you said not to look

you started to touch me

in places you stouldn't be

you said it was ok

then you stop

then laughed it off

i was scared

i knew what would happen

when you come home from bars

i never thought it;d go this far

i beg you to stop

id start to cry

you'd push me away

with out a goodbye

everyday

night after night

you come home

turn on my lights

i beg you please

then you hit me

send me to my knees

my tears

never fased you

you said to never to tell the truth

about the cuts and brusies

one night you came in super drunk

it was my birthday

you said not to peek

you had a present for me

i knew what it was

but still i waited

for some kind of happiness

in this thing i hated

one last time

that was the last time

you spent a dime

on a drink

the night i died

you didnt know what to think

they didnt know about your little crime

you were my hero

though you lost your mind

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

ingore grammer :) not true thought i feel the same about my brother

Reviews

[Katannaism]

A little long and can be slightly confusing since there's hardly any separation between stanzas but well expressed. The message is also quite powerful and emotional despite there are a few spelling/grammar errors. Other than that, I liked it.

[Aarontastic]

This was really hard to read because of the subject matter :/ it made me pretty uncomfortable, so that shows it was pretty effective XD I liked the spare style that you wrote in; I think it suited this. There isn't much imagery in here, and usually I would recommend adding more, but I think this works just fine the way it is.

Pretty good job, bt I would have liked it more personally if you spent more time detailing how big bro went from a decent guy into a depraved drunk.

[paparapapa]

Oh my gosh. I didn't read the poem's description so halfway through, my eyes were already bulging. And so when I found out that this isn't true, I sighed loud in relief. Haha. Although thinking about the scenes are gross (since I also have an older brother), you still narrated the story really well. You also gave vivid descriptions making it feel so real. You're a great poet.trust me on that.

[TawnyBlueStar]

hi,
didn't expect that ending. A lot of emotion and felt very real.
I feel sorry for people who have to go through things like this. This is really good :)

[Mashairi]

Round of applause. This hit me hard. I believed every word of it

[TWISTED NIGHTMARE]

this was a powerful poem packed full of emotion...

[paradise]

This is so sad and full of emotion Its very heart breaking since alot of people go through this. Beqautifully written

[Spookers]

"i was just be like my older brother" That sentence does not make since.
"never fased you" it is 'phased' not 'fased'
"you said to never to tell the truth" take out one of the 'to's
This was very heart breaking, but powerful.

[KAREN]

Very powerful write!

[alexlessah]

A very strong poem!