the note

a guy writes a lover a note teling her it over

I hear your vocie  inside my head

as i read

"how i love you so

but i cant take it on the road

i have to listen to my music

just thinking of you

 makes me lose it

so tonight as i sing

you'll be thing of me ....."

so this is goodbye

on this lovely night

i close the note

as i push you a float

Reviews

[mrs.poet]

I like it :) I can see what you mean !!

[mizzunderstood12]

The emotion is here is strong adn very well felt. I can relate to it, which makes it even better. Again grammer and puncations, but nobody's perfect when it comes that. Othere than those minor mistakes, very well written.

[SheWhoWillNotBeNamed]

I will start with pointing out some errors:)
1st line - "voice"
4th - add an apostrophe "can't"
6th - "thinking" instead of "think"
8th - "thinking" instead of "thing"
12th - afloat is 1 word
Other than this, the poem is well written. The rhymes opening and closing it make it sound nice. The emotions beaming from it are strong.

ah this is so wonderful. such a wonderful flow as well

[Jake]

Short, sweet and captivating. Nice.

[Fairytale]

This poem is sweet and light. And sad.

[KAREN]

You expressed emotion really well in this piece!

[☯]

The way you worded this is very nice. The rhyme also made mysterious and nice to read. Good job :)

[Shayla Sayer]

what can i say? i can feel the anguish. love it!

[Thomas Fitzgerald]

Pleasanter renewable with angst and depravity, a wonderful little piece, well done