Please don’t go..

Please don’t go..

A Poem by Shyla
"

When u feel alone clung to the person who gives you hope..

"
No word can explain all the pain,
I feel like I’ve clung to you like a stain,
I cry at night saying only your name,
But it was only a dream you never came,

My heart is hurting,
I wish I could change but there’s no convirting,
It kills me to see you this way,
Please don’t ever leave me..stay,

© 2018 Shyla


Author's Note

Shyla
Please excuse my
Grammar.

My Review

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Reviews

Grammar-wise, the only comment I have is Stanza 1 Line 4, which seems to be missing a preposition, but anything added to that line as it is now would ruin the musicality....so that needs a bit of work.

Other comments: the expression is "no words can [explain]", although "word" is ok and adds some interesting depth to the message of the line and poem as a whole (so this tweak is left entirely up to you), it sounds better and is congruent with the actual expression were it plural. "Converting" (with an "e") is now that word is spelled. And lastly, on a poetic note, you have the title as "please don't GO", but the last line, doesn't really echo that. A unique and intriguing touch, but there's power in such echos/repetitions. My suggestion:

"please don't go.....please stay"

This is otherwise brilliant. Stanza 1 Line 3 especially is beautiful. Well done!

Posted 5 Years Ago



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Added on May 17, 2018
Last Updated on May 17, 2018
Tags: #read

Author

Shyla
Shyla

Middletown, OH



About
I am another lost soul left to blow in the wind more..

Writing
I am alone I am alone

A Poem by Shyla